The Davis House Rules

Rule #131: NICU nursing is for life

2012-01-05T23:53:00.003-07:00

People often tell me that my job must be very rewarding. This usually comes on the heals of a hard week, deaths or saving children that I do not think should have been saved. So all I can answer is "sometimes."

Which makes me feel bad, because they clearly expected a different answer. But most people also think I work in a well baby nursery and get to cuddle and feed babies all night long.

Totally not the case. While I do get to cuddle and feed some babies, it most certainly isn't all night long, nor is it even every week. As I've been at work longer and gained more experience, I have been getting sicker kids, less able to cuddle and not going to eat for weeks kinda of kids.

I love both types. I love to use modern medicine to make a tragic situation better. I love to be able to collaborate with some amazing minds to save a child's life. I also love to cuddle and feed. :) It really is the perfect job for me.

And yes, my job CAN be very rewarding. This is one of those times.

Spring of last year I met Gibson. Darling baby, sweetest parents, big medical problems. He had been extremely critical, and the night I took care of him was taken off major support in hopes to have surgery the next day. It was supposed to be a chill, just get through 12 hours without having to change much kind of night.

It wasn't.

Gibson decided that he needed to be fixed. Now. Babies do that you know. We think we are in charge, we're not. They run the show, we just tag along for the ride.

There's no other way to say it, Gibson was dying. All that we were doing for him was not enough. I was heartbroken. Those sweet parents...

Luckily we had an amazing surgeon on that night. A lot of surgeons would have refused to do surgery because the baby was so unstable, and surgery might in fact kill him. At this point Gibson was going to die anyway, so the surgeon talked to the parents, and promising nothing, offered to try to repair him.

It worked. I work with some amazing people.

Gibson stayed in my hospital for the next three months. I fell in love with him. I took care of him nearly every time I worked, and I looked forward to it. This is him just a few days before he was able to go home!
He looks a little worried here, but I think we had to wake him up for this picture. But I'm telling you, cutest kid ever! As you can see, he still had a lot going on with him. Tubes coming out of his nose, oxygen, a bunch of mediation. Not to mention he still had his main problem to live with for the rest of his life. Clearly not a "well baby" at this point.

But home he went with his loving and very capable parents. And he has done amazing!! He and his parents came by the hospital a few nights ago. They were in town for some doctor appointments for Gibson.

He's huge, I can hardly even stand it! He's got teeth (more than Graham I might add) and gives kisses, tells his therapists "no" (with his head). He's 10 months old now. He's a curious little tyke that very well may walk before he crawls, loves his parents and seems all in all to be a regular old kid. Granted he still has some difficulties, but this is way better than we had expected at his age! I'm so pleased!

When I get to see a baby that was literally on deaths door, smile at me, and I get to hear just how well he is doing, it makes all of the "less rewarding" moments easier to bear. So yes, my job is rewarding.

Very rewarding.

*Pictures and story posted with permission of parents.

Rule #130: Catchy songs are catchy

2012-01-03T22:52:00.005-07:00

I've debated about doing a Christmas post. I just can't do it. A) I took zero pictures B) I'm just not feeling it. Just know that it was busy with family, parties, late nights, ruined sleeping schedules, parties and family. Did I mention that we saw family at parties? :)

With that said, here are a few videos we took of the boys this past month to get in your good graces again after being a lazy blogger.

Halfway through December I started singing Christmas songs to Evan, and he loved them. His favorite one is Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. But of course he won't sing with me, or even around me. Alex caught him singing by himself, his favorite part over and over again. It's a little quite, Alex was trying to be sneaking for fear he would stop all together. And then Graham screams in the middle. Don't turn up your speaker too loud, you've been warned :)

Graham got this rocking horse for Christmas from Doug and Susan. The horse sings and talks depending on which button you push. The boys love it. All I hear is "I'm such a pretty pony..." all day long.

Evan was given a harmonica for Christmas from Morgan (or Brooklyn, I can't remember which) He caught on pretty quick, and loves to play "songs" for me, but mostly he just wants me to play...with little breaks for his turn. :)

Rule #129: Pictures never expire

2011-12-31T20:05:00.005-07:00

Way back in October we had family pictures taken. Only the second time in our six year marriage. Once when Evan was just over 1, and right after Graham's birthday. I'm not sure if I should feel embarrassed by this or not. I know Alex thinks once every other year is plenty :)

It was colder than I was hoping/expecting. I probably should have had my boys wear jackets. Because of the cold, Graham wasn't his usual bucket of smiles, but we got some good pictures anyway. Though in most of the pictures he looks very concerned.

The colors were perfect, we all know how I feel about fall! Without further ado, these are two months old now, here are the pictures for your enjoyment.

Love this man!!

One of my favorite pictures of Graham. At the time, he was growling and sticking out his tongue all day long.

Brothers! note the concerned look :)

We also learned that we shouldn't take any pictures near water. Evan can't pull himself away. All he wanted to do was throw rocks in the stream...and he did NOT want to bother with taking pictures. Tuck that useful bit of information away for next time. :) I'm glad my mom was able to come with us, to get some smiles outta my boys. Thanks mom!

This little family is my whole world! Even if I only document them sporadically, they bless my life every. single. day.

Rule #128: You're never too young to be a cowboy

2011-11-14T23:45:00.004-07:00

Last week my dear friend took my family to the Children's Museum for my boy's birthdays. The kids had a great time playing. I had a great time with one of my best friends. Alex...I'm sure he had fun, but mostly he was sweet and wrangled the kids so that I could chat with Eth with minimal interruptions. Love that man!

The boys favorite part of the museum was the ball station. Hands down. Eth has two boys as well, similar ages to my kids, and while Evan and Will didn't play too much together, Graham and Aiden played near each other, albeit with minimal interaction. (but that's more their ages and less that they didn't want to per se).

We didn't take any pictures at the water station, but that was a close second for favorite. I was surprised at how cold the water was, for some reason I had expected the constant movement in a warm room to heat it up a little. *shrug. The boys loved it anyway.

We moved over to the farm area. Graham had a great time moving the food from one bucket to the next. He probably did that for 20 minutes straight.

Evan kept talking about climbing the rock wall, but when it came down to it, he flat out refused. Silly kid. So when he started climbing up the stairs, talking about getting on the horse, I figured he'd back out of that too. It took some convincing, and an example by me..but he did it! He actually wanted to get on it "all by hisself" (Evan speak) but I wouldn't let him, he was not grasping the concept of gravity.

Then of course he directed Graham to be a cowboy too. Graham looks a little scared here, but he actually was having a good time. Promise.After a while we went upstairs. I think the upper level will be a lot of fun once my kids are a little older. There were a lot of building stations. Paper, blocks, magnets etc. My boys mostly tear things down, not a lot of building goes on in their lives just yet.

There was a wind tunnel that Evan was entranced with. Again, no pictures. Shame. You could fold paper into airplanes and they had paper cups to put inside the wind tunnel. It was like a mini, really mild tornado. :) I played with it for a while myself.

Thanks Eth for a wonderful time! I love how close we are despite hardly ever seeing each other anymore. True friendship is like that, and I'm very grateful for it!

Rule #127: Change is in the eye of the beholder.

2011-11-14T23:41:00.007-07:00

Graham had his neurosurgery follow up on Monday. We started out with another CT scan. He did...pretty well holding still. I can envision it getting more and more difficult as he gets older, yet not old enough to explain to. We had the most success with the toy that I hate most, a wand that flashes lights and plays the most annoying music I've heard. But, it gets the job done. I can't complain too much.

Right after his CT we went to meet with his Dr. Naturally we waited a while. What to do, what to do?

Oh, I think we'll play with the x-ray board.

Still no Dr? Hmmm, we'd better play dress up.

Bono anyone?

Eventually the resident came in. (Don't worry coworkers, I met with Dr Kestle too). When I asked the resident how Graham's CT looked, compared to the first one, he said it looked good, but there wasn't much visual change. That's what I had expected. I asked to see it anyway.

Not much visual change my foot! I guess it's in the eye of the beholder, but if I can *see* the difference, without having to measure or do anything crazy, I think that's visual change. Silly resident.

We took pictures off the computer after the Dr left.

The brain on the right is from his CT in June. The brain on the left is from Monday. Keep in mind that this is the view of a single 'slice' of his head, the most dramatic slice. If you move up or down the space gets smaller.

See, you can see a difference. Now, granted, there is still a lot of fluid and the problem has not completely resolved, but it has improved. Dr Kestle has finally committed to saying Graham will need the shunt forever. His exact words were "I'd be surprised if he ever gets it out." Where was that surety six months ago?

How am I doing with the forever shunt plan you ask? Just fine. I knew, honestly, I did. I may have wanted a different plan, but I'm not surprised. Truthfully I'm better without the unknown hanging over my head. I don't do well with "maybe" or "wait and see" situations. I just don't.

The current plan is to have another CT scan in June, a year after surgery and see how things look. After that, I have no idea what the plan is. As far as how often they want to see Graham. Since he will have the shunt for the rest of his life, I can't imagine they will need/want to see him frequently. Not even every year. As long as he's acting okay maybe they'll want to see him every few years. I have no idea. I'm an ICU nurse after all, not a clinic nurse. I'm out of my element trying to predict future visits. :)

The main things to focus on are these:

~The shunt is intact and working well

~There is visible improvement in five months!

~We have a definite plan for his shunt, keeping it forever.

~Graham is healthy, happy and developing on track! ***The most important one, really.

Rule #126: Meycomb is Evan for "thing"

2011-11-11T22:55:00.005-07:00

Big news, Big news!

Graham took his first independent steps yesterday! It was really only two-three shuffles...but I'll take it! We've been expecting this moment for a few weeks now. He's been cruising around the furniture, the walls, standing unassisted, and visibly *thinking* about how to get from A to B for a while. I was so proud of his tentative steps!

There were no real bold attempts at walking today, but it'll happen. My little baby is hardly a baby these days!

I also want to document things about my children that I don't want to forget.

***
Evan's vocabulary is quite extensive. He learns more and more every day. And yet...sometimes he comes across something he doesn't know the name of. (Or 30% of the time, he does know the name but can't remember, or is trying to be funny. I'm not sure which) He has come up with his own word for such situations.

"Meycomb."

I don't know where it came from, or what he thinks he is saying. But anything can be a 'meycomb.' A missle, a dinosaur, a book. Who knows. It's a word of all trades.

"This is a meycomb."

"I actually think it's a dart gun."

"Oh, this is a dart gun."

It cracks me up. But the best part? When he is talking to Graham, he dumbs it down for the baby. :) Instead of telling Graham something is a meycomb, he tells him it's a 'mana.' Apparently that's baby talk for meycomb? Funny kid.

***
If Graham sees us eating something, and if it looks like something special and tasty, he will come toward the food while smacking his lips, eyes focused intently on the food. Then he will stand at your legs, smacking his lips until he gets food. Or yelling at you because you clearly did NOT understand what lip smacking meant. Or at least you didn't understand fast enough. :) We now have two beggars in our house. Graham and the dog.

***
Evan wants to play with Graham all. day. long. He gets very upset when Graham has to take a nap. He always wants to close Graham's door at night before he goes to sleep. It's really sweet. I just wish he would stop pushing him, trying to pull him down the stairs and throwing things at his face in between all the sweet moments. sigh. Even with all the abuse, Graham thrives on attention from Evan. Lately they have been spending a lot of time in their train tent. (you remember, the one from Evan's birthday party) They have such fun. I love to see their friendship grow.

***
I love my one and one time with Evan when Graham is sleeping. We play games like "go away monster" that he thinks is the funniest game. ever. He'll even play it by himself if I'm busy. He just cackles, all alone. He's such a happy boy. Truthfully, it doesn't really matter what we do together. He loves to be with just one person. It's his element, where he feels the most comfortable. I'm grateful that we are able to give him that time, where he feels loved, and important and listened to.

***
Graham has started fake laughing. Puts a smile on my face every time. He's also started using his fake laugh when he's accomplished something. I'm not sure why he thinks it's "funny" but he laughs. It sounds more like a scoff at times. Hearing my children discover their voice thrills me. What an amazing time in their life, so much development, so much learning, so much to be proud of!

Rule #125: Baby faces trump stuffed faces

2011-10-31T22:15:00.004-06:00

I really struggled this year trying to decide what my children would be for Halloween. Evan still has very little interest in any one thing that could be a Halloween costume. He has opinions, mind you. And they were all "no, I don't want to be --" whatever I had suggested. Finally I asked if he wanted to be a newsie, to which he replied "no....yes" so I took it and ran with it. It might have been the only yes I was going to get. Newsies is a current favorite movie of his.

With Graham, none of Evan's old costumes fit because he is the opposite season. So we had to come up with something new. Part of me wanted to think of something theme-y, like my sister does with her kids. But nothing really goes with Newsies. Just yesterday someone suggested that I should have made Graham the newspaper! That would have been darling. Ah well. Graham got a generic costume from the store. Alex insisted on having a costume that didn't already have a face on the hood. (which is a lot of little kid costumes) We did finally find one that would showcase Graham's cute cheeks all on their own. He made an adorable little blue monster. Even if it had nothing to do with Newsies.

My kids were able to wear their costumes 4 times this weekend. They first dressed up for my mom's Halloween dinner. Doug and Susan took the boys to boo at the zoo on Saturday. Then later that night we went to our wards trunk or treat. After every car, and I mean every single car, Evan would lean down to Graham and scream "candy, candy CANDY!" It was hysterical.

Then on the actual holiday, we took the boys down Main Street to go trick or treating. It was fun to see all the other kids in costume, but other than that, I could give or take it.

Aren't these kids the cutest?

Evan loves this haunted music box. He played it over and over...and over again.

Graham enjoying his very own sucker.

As far as he's concerned, the holiday was a hit!

Rule #124: Llamas eat corn, not hay

2011-10-23T01:21:00.004-06:00

Every year we get a pass to go to the Black Island Farm. I look forward to this every year. I love autumn. I love the colors, I love the crisp, cool air. I love the change in wardrobe. I love it all. And while I may not LOVE Halloween, free pumpkins and an autumn activity are right up my alley.

We weren't able to go last year due to the fact that we had a one week old baby in the house. I missed it. We had gone to a different pumpkin patch with my sister before Graham was born. It was fun too, just not the same.

Evan is starting to remember the farm too. I told him where we were going, tried to describe everything he would see, to decrease any anxiety he might feel. When we got there he was really excited to see all the animals and go down the slides. It was so cute to watch.

My mom joined us on the outing, though you'd never know from the pictures. Sorry Mom. I'm glad you came, even if I didn't capture it on film. :)

There are cows, mules, chickens, turkeys, peacocks, goats and llamas. The llamas were quite assertive this year. One kept hanging over the fence, waiting for people to feed it. We tried giving it hay from the ground, but it was not impressed. Then Alex found a pile of corn and offered that to the llama. It sucked it right up. Side note: llamas are kinda ugly. They have scary teeth, and they look mean and angry all of the time. Not at all cute and endearing like the llama from Emperors New Groove. (Though the animators got the look of them eating just perfect!)

We took the boys down all the slides. We started with the little ones. I'm not sure if Graham liked them or not. There were no squeals of delight, but no crying either. I'm sure he'll love them next year. Evan, on the other hand, was all about the slides. He got pretty good climbing up the bales of hay too. He can *almost* get up the little slide independently.

Then we moved on to the BIG slide, which we only did once. We were in kind of a hurry and only had an hour and a half at the farm. It was Graham's birthday and we had to get back in time for his party! (It was the only day that our free pass worked, otherwise we wouldn't have tried to go on his birthday)

Then Alex took the boys down the REALLY BIG slide, that's a tube. I can't believe he took Graham. I didn't expect him to. I went to get the stroller and the next thing I know I hear Evan's voice coming from the tube. "I don't want to go down. I don't WANT to go down!" I start yelling through the tube to Alex that he doesn't have to go, when suddenly all three of my loves are at the bottom.

We went on the cow train. Which is a really silly and uncomfortable ride being pulled by a tractor. The things we do for our kids. Evan had to sit by himself this time, and he did pretty well. My mom was trying to get a picture of us the entire time, most of them had her finger or the ground as the main focus. It was a bumpy ride. This picture however turned out great.

My mom treated us to the slingshot game this year. We've never really bothered with any of the games before. We got to throw corn cobs at targets in the field. We are terrible shots, but it makes me want to try it again next year!

We ended our day with the tractor ride to the pumpkin patch and we all picked out a pumpkin to take home. I kept trying to nudge Evan to pick a smallish pumpkin so it wouldn't be so cumbersome to carry. But he wasn't having any of it. I think he picked the largest one we got!

We had to hurry home to make sure everything was ready for Graham's party. We didn't play in the corn box (sandbox filled with corn kernels) or go through the corn maze. Next year I'm planning on three hours so that we can do it all! I can't wait!

Rule #123: Parties are known to induce labor

2011-10-21T05:39:00.005-06:00

Looking back I realized that I never told Graham's birth story. Alex summarized it after he was born, but I never wrote down the details. You may stop reading if you want, you know how it ends. :) A perfect little boy was born, if you'd like to hear the nitty gritty, by all means, read away.

I was very excited to have an October baby. It meant that I was going to have ALL of the holidays off that year, something that hasn't happened since I was 16. It also meant that my son would have a "cool" birthday. Being born in the 10th month of 2010.

I was hoping he would be born on 10/10/2010. That day passed without so much as a braxton hicks contraction. Next I was hoping he would be born on the 20th. Since everywhere else but America lists the date first, his birthday would be 20/10/2010. Awesome! Naturally he came in the middle. :)

We had our long time high school friends over for a movie night. We joked about me going into labor, at a party...again. It happened with Evan with this same group of friends. Halfway through the movie I start contracting. I didn't say anything to Alex, they might not be real after all. But he notices anyway, mostly because I keep grabbing his leg every few minutes.

The movie ends, and we turn the lights on. One of my friends (who was also pregnant) looks at me, and asks if I'm in labor. They all laugh, thinking she's just kidding around. I say "I think so" Half of the friends jump up and start to leave. A few stay and chat with Alex and I as the contractions grow stronger, eventually they leave around midnight.

Here's what should have happened. I should have left for the hospital then, knowing that I was GBS + and needed at least four hours to be given two doses of antibiotics.

What really happened? I debated at home for at least an hour whether or not I should call my mom, if I was progressed far enough to go to the hospital. (Which in hind sight, it wouldn't have mattered, they would have admitted me for the GBS anyway) Finally after getting ready for bed, and lying down, I doubled over. Holy Moly! Out of nowhere the pain tripled. Alex called my mom and we got ready to go to the hospital.

Mom came to stay with Evan while we made another late night trip to have a baby. Alex and I mused over what it would be like to have a baby during the daylight hours. We drove to the hospital at 1 am two years prior as well. We arrived at the hospital around 2 am.

As soon as we enter the Labor and Delivery unit I start telling them that I am GBS + and need to start my antibiotics now. They smile, try to reassure me, they need to check me first, yada yada yada. They bring my into a delivery room, I ask for one nurse to be starting an IV while another checks me. They wont. Then comes the *gasp* "You're already 5 cm dilated! we need to get these antibiotics started!" (no kidding, I think in my head)

An IV is placed, antibiotics up and running, and then I ask for my epidural. I asked so quickly for two reasons. one-I like my drugs, I feel no need/desire to feel more pain than necessary. two-epidurals can slow down labor, and I'm feeling very anxious to make sure I get that second dose of antibiotic.

While I'm still glad I got an epidural, it was not as perfect this time around. My blood pressure dropped, and I had to wear an oxygen mask for a while. Still totally worth it in my mind, just not *perfect* like it was for Evan. I could still move my legs like last time, and once Graham was born the effects wore off nearly instantly. That part I love.

I tried to sleep as I had done during Evan's labor but was unsuccessful. I was so uncomfortable, and in order to get a good tracing of the baby, I needed to be in the only position I didn't want to be. I felt pressure around 4:30, told the nurse. She didn't check me, I still hadn't had my second dose, and if I could hold off it would be better. The pressure kept me awake for the next hour and a half. Around 6 they started my antibiotic early, knowing I was never going to last.

With the green light to finally start pushing, they removed my foley catheter and the pressure was full force. I'm fairly certain the only reason I was able to keep my baby in was because I had a plastic tube in the way ;) They saw some meconium in my fluid, so the called the NICU team to be present for the delivery. This stressed me out. Alex gently reminded me that this was why we chose the hospital we did. So that if something were to happen, skilled people would be present to handle it. In literally two pushes Graham Douglas Davis was born. At 6:48 am. I was whispering for him not to breath yet until they could suction him out, and of course he screamed and cried. They took my baby over to their table, sucked out his mouth and nose, looked him over and handed him into my arms. It was lovely, and he was perfect.

I wasn't nearly as tired with Graham's delivery. I only pushed twice vs the hour and a half it took to get Evan into the world. I was on the high of being a mother, yet again. I was shocked to see that Graham looked so different than my other son. I had assumed that they would look similar, or at least like brothers. But he was so different, and yet...I knew that's exactly what he was supposed to look like. I saw him, and rationally thought "he doesn't look like I expected" and emotionally felt "there you are, just like I knew you would be" It was remarkable.

I wanted to be discharged that evening I felt so good. But because of that silly GBS, Graham needed to be monitored for 36 hours. Luckily, he was fine and we were able to go home the following night. It felt so good to be home, and to be with Evan again as well. Our family of four felt perfect to me. It still does.

Rule #122: You can have your cupcake and eat it too

2011-10-20T02:52:00.009-06:00

Graham turned one year old on Monday. My little baby is growing so fast! He is mastering so many skills and his personality gets more distinct every day.

We had a birthday party that evening to celebrate with family. It was quite crowded. Having a fall birthday vs a summer birthday makes a big difference. We'll keep tweaking it over the years, we'll figure out something that works a little better. But, we are grateful that it was crowded with so many people that love our little boy! Thank you all for coming!

I made a Teddy Graham cake and cupcakes. The cupcakes turned out cuter than the cake in my opinion. Graham, I'm sure, knew no difference. But he did love the taste of the cupcakes!

Graham had his doctor's appointment on Wednesday. He is healthy and growing well. He seems to be right on track with his milestones, so the shunt doesn't appear to be affecting his development in any way. We will know more about his shunt next month when he goes for another CT Scan.

Height: 30 1/4 inches (65%)
Weight: 20 lbs 2 oz (15%)
OFC: 19 inches (90%)

I guess I have to stop calling him a fatty...his genes are starting to catch up to him it seems. :) In more exciting news, did you see his head growth? Or lack thereof, really? That's right, my boy just keeps growing into his big noggin, it's starting to look ALMOST proportional. In five months he's gone from off the charts to 90%...I'll take it!
Graham loves people, especially Evan. Well, truthfully, he's still a mama's boy, but Evan's a close second I think. Despite the things Evan does to Graham, he still loves to be around him. The above picture is courtesy of Evan, pushing a foam square over Graham's head. ;)
This is a common occurrence in our house these days. I will walk into a room to find Graham and Evan laughing at each other. Graham laughs because he thinks Evan is hysterical, and Evan laughs...because, well, he thinks Evan is hysterical too. Graham is crazy mobile these days. Walking could be right around the corner. He crawls all the time, this picture is from he early crawling days, when he would get sucked under the furniture. Now that he pulls himself up and cruises around the furniture, he doesn't get stuck nearly as often. :) He has also started to stand unassisted for very short periods of time! He's getting so close! He can climb up and down the stairs, he's even starting to turn himself around to go down safely, he's remembering.

He gives me kisses while he attacks my chipmunk cheeks. It really is adorable. He finally has one tooth!! I still haven't *seen* it, but I have felt it. He won't allow me to see it, his tongue is perpetually hanging out of his mouth and in the way. He wouldn't even let the doctor see it with her tongue depressor. Funny kid. But, at least the tooth is there. More are sure to come.

He claps, waves and says "Hi" That's his only word. He babbles constantly, but that seems to be the only one with meaning so far. Do worry, he's very clear when he wants something, he points and then screams. It's lovely. I can't wait for him to use more words.

Even though he isn't saying words, he mimics tone a lot. Evan was telling us that "dinosaurs say Rrarr" Next thing we knew, Graham was trying to roar, but it was more throaty, so then Evan was trying to copy Graham with this horrible gurgle. My kids crack me up.

Graham is very loving and is happiest when playing with others. He loves books of all kinds and songs! Oh, the songs! He claps and giggles whenever I sing, and it is the quickest way to calm him down. I love this little man, and I feel eternally blessed to be his mother, and to be trusted with his life and spirit.

Happy Birthday little munchkin!

Rule #121: Cousins are better than airplanes

2011-10-20T01:14:00.007-06:00

Last week we went to visit my sister in Colorado. I failed to join the caravan in the summer, and when Southwest had a killer deal on airfare, that sealed the deal. All four of us flew out for a week, and we had a great time!

I wish that we had taken some pictures on the plane, but the flight to Colorado...was well, awful. We were separated, and Evan freaked out for the first ten minutes, "I want to get off, I want to get off!!!" Over and over. Thankfully he did calm down once we leveled out in the air, and I was able to turn on sword and the stone. :) DVD players are magic. Because we were separated, Alex and I were trying to pass toys and such across the aisle and up one to keep Graham entertained. But we also had to make sure that Graham didn't see me, or else he would have realized that he NEEDED me, and only me. It was a stressful hour. Luckily Annie no longer lives in Oklahoma, we might not have made it. :)

Once we got to Annie's house, things were great. We mostly just relaxed and played at home. I loved it. Once we finally got the kids settled down for the night, we'd play games all night, and keep Mark up way past his bedtime. Thanks for indulging us!

We had packed half a suitcase full of games. As much as I love having family close, I kind of wish that everyone lived farther away, so we could justify spending a weekend, or week, with them. Playing games night after night, getting quality adult time that is so hard to come by at sunday dinners. Ah well, I guess I'll have to live with so much family and support in my neighborhood. ;)

We did venture out with the six kids a few times. We went to a farm, the children's museum, the park and the Denver Temple.Evan at the children's museum, inside a nest.

They had the coolest bubble room at the museum. Evan could have stayed in there for hours, if not days. He loved it! He jumped around and laughed! It was great to see.
This was taken at the park. It was a fantastic park. There were three different playgrounds, with such a variety of slides, for all ages too! I wish we had a park like this at home. Evan kept avoiding Annie and her camera. She finally succeeded, she's sneaky like that. :)

The Denver temple was undergoing some renovations/landscaping, so we walked around with the kids, and tried to explain what a special place we were visiting. All the kids wanted to do was play with the water. Go figure.

The rest of the week was spent playing at home. Graham mastered going up and down stairs while we were there. It's his favorite past time. Anytime he sees the gate being closed at our house he screams in protest. He's still not good enough to do it unsupervised, but he's getting close. He enjoyed all the attention from all of the kids, and generally had a great time. He slept in a closet in the girls room, and with the exception of one night, did very well.
Evan had a great time with his cousins. In fact, once we returned home, for the next few days he asked to go to Annie's house multiple times. If that's not a sign of a successful vacation, I don't know what is.

He took a moment to warm up to the kids, but I think it was more typical of a shy kid vs social anxiety that he's had in the past. (Yea!) He played really well with Brenner and Davis. More Davis toward the end of the week, but he's always been more comfortable around younger kids anyway. He and Davis would close themselves in a room and get into trouble. Piling every book they can find on the bed, Playing in the sink and toothpaste. Playing in the sandbox together. I think Evan taught Davis some bad habits unfortunately. The night we left I went to bring Evan inside. I found Evan and Davis on the side of the house....dumping any toy in the yard into the window well. (Sorry about that Annie) That's a typical "Evan activity"...pretty sure it didn't start with Davis.

We had to buy a door knob for the room Evan was sleeping in. One with a lock. I think that just about sums up how Evan did sleeping. :)

The rest is just us chilling at home. The kids watched some Sesame Street Videos.
They put on a piano concert for us. Graham clapped for every song. Evan did not participate. Truthfully, it was probably just too loud. :)

Annie also whipped out their bounce house for the kids.

Thanks for having us Mark and Annie!

Rule #120: Hope brings a new day

2011-09-20T09:54:00.002-06:00

A few events have happened in the past few days that I wanted to share. They may seem like small things to you, but my heart swells with hope and happiness when I think of them. I don't want to forget how important they were to me.

We try to go to the park at least once a week, sometimes more. Every time we get close, Evan gets prematurely excited that "there are no kids there" even before we are able to tell if there are kids there. Having kids at the park usually ruins it for him. Which is one of the reasons we go so often.

A few days ago we went to the park. There was a family playing tennis, but no one on the playground. Evan was excited. Then a little girl, around 2, saw Evan and came to play with him. Do you know what happened? He played with her! He even talked to her after a while. It started out with him mouthing words to her, trying to direct which slide she should go down, but eventually he actually spoke, out loud, directly too her. Not to me about her, to her face! That might not seem like much to you, but that has not happened, not ever with someone that he doesn't know. Ever. They took turns, he laughed and smiled. It helped that she was younger than him, so that he could be the one directing the play and not feel pressured, but I was beyond excited!

Then yesterday happened. Evan was fairly anxious going to preschool, telling me with eyes welled that he didn't want to cry, and he didn't want me to leave. But when I went to pick him up a few hours later, Ms Jessie pulled me aside. I was a little nervous. Then she beamed. Told me how amazing Evan did that day. He spoke in sentences that they could hear, he joined the social circle all on his own, he even asked the aid Maylynn for help. Turned to face her and said "I need some help" Apparently Maylynn nearly fainted. :) Again, some of you may be thinking, so what? But this is a big deal people! He's only been to school three days and he's talking. Of course he talks non stop at home, but sometimes even around family he won't. He gets uncomfortable, or unsure and he just shuts down. Three days and he feels comfortable. !!!! I know that a big part of his improvement are those wonderful teachers in his preschool, and I am so grateful that he gets to be in this class. I cried on the way home I was so happy.

And to keep adding to the wonderfulness that is my son, we had a new friend come over for dinner last night. Evan has only met her once really. He was cautious around her at first, per his usual. But he quickly overcame it, and talked and smiled and acted as if he's seen her a million times in his life.

I think we may have really turned a corner in his little life. It thrills me. I want nothing more than for my child to feel comfortable with himself, and to feel comfortable and loved by those around him, family, friends etc. I'm not delusional, thinking that these moments will always be, or that he won't have anymore anxiety and stress in social situations. But I have hope, tangible hope, that things will continue to improve. Let me tell you, it feels great!

Rule #119: Afternoon for the win!

2011-09-16T23:13:00.000-06:00

Evan started his first week of preschool on Monday. I'm really excited for Evan, I think it's going to be great for him. It's two days a week, for two and a half hours. We picked an afternoon class for Evan, since he is so much like his father, and mornings are the bane of his existence. So far, things have gone really well.

The Wednesday prior to class starting we had gone and met the teacher, and explored the classroom. It's held in a local elementary school and the class looks like a lot of fun. There are three adults in the class, and 11 kids. I think that's fantastic! Evan really does well with that kind of attention. One general ed teacher, one special ed teacher and one aid.

The first 6 weeks of school Evan will be under observation to see if his anxiety and social issues impede his learning in a classroom setting. This will be based on the special ed teachers observation/opinion. Truth be told, I don't care one way or the other if he qualifies. He will remain in this class regardless of the outcome. But it will be interesting to see what she thinks come the end of October. I think it could go either way.

He was a apprehensive the first day walking to class. In fact, he demanded that I carry him. I brought him to his seat, gave him a kiss and left. When I came back to pick him up the teacher, Ms Jessie, said he did better than she had expected (yea!) There were a few tears, and then he was alright. Quite, subdued and very standoffish. Yep. That sounds about right for my kid. :)

Wednesday was a different story as far as the drop off was concerned. Alex took him that day, and Evan had worked himself into a frenzy by the time they even reached the parking lot. Sobbing and fits were seen, Evan was handed off directly to Ms Jessie.

Despite the beginning, he was able to calm down quickly and while he still didn't really participate in any real way, he explored a little more outside at the playground. He walked near the social circle, didn't join, but came closer than on Monday. I think that's great progress for it only being his second day of school!

I'm so excited for Evan, I think preschool is going to be amazing for him.

I tried to get the "first day of school" picture. Evan was less than cooperative. As usual. But here are my attempts.

He picked out his backpack. Which he won't wear. But he does like to carry it around. His only requirement was that it needed to be blue, so blue it is.

Rule #118: Objects in motion stay in motion

2011-09-15T23:30:00.001-06:00

This is a little update on Graham. My 11 month old! I can't believe he's almost 1, seriously, that blows my mind a little.

He started crawling a few weeks ago, so around 10 1/2 months, about the same time as Evan actually. I think for different reasons, but I think it's interesting that they happened to be the same age when they became mobile.

As I had hoped, crawling and this new found independence has made Graham a titch happier. It really depends on the day. I should have written this post last week, because it had made a big difference. But the last few days my ball of happiness has been a whining machine!! There are moments throughout the day where he is happy to explore and play by himself or with Evan, but lately, those moments are so few and far between. He just....needs, all the time.

What he really needs are teeth. :) We are also struggling in the eating department again. Not with bottles, now that he could actually start weaning. But from baby food. The boy just wants REAL food. We've been branching out a little, seeing what he can gum down and what he's still not ready for. He's been liking this experiment I think. He tried small pieces of chicken nugget yesterday, and it rocked his world! He was so happy.

One of my favorite things to witness these days, is Evan and Graham playing together. It is the cutest thing. Ever. Evan is really getting into Graham, thinking he's fun to play with, loving the reactions he gets. And Graham has always thought his brother was the coolest thing since sliced bread. Evan will ask to go downstairs with Mommy and Graham, then when we get there, he asks me to leave. He didn't really want to play with me, but he needed Graham to get downstairs somehow...it's cute until Evan hits him in the head. Or decides this moment he is no longer okay with sharing. But it's a work in progress, and I love to watch it unfold.

Here are two videos of my little teddy graham. The first one was before he could crawl, like days before. We were waiting at the doctors office. He just kept spinning and spinning, he loved how slippery the floor was.

The second was his first *recent* experience with swings. I know it's a crappy resolution, (I've got to stop using my phone) but I think you can still see the pure joy all over his face!

Love this kid!!

Rule #117: Watch out for the fireworks!

2011-07-28T02:49:00.004-06:00

Evan turned 3 on Tuesday! We had a party to celebrate, where the beginning and end were good, and the middle was...interesting.

Ever since the 4th of July, Evan has been asking to do snaps. Practically every day. So we fulfilled that wish on his birthday. The kids had a great time.

When the snaps were over, I think Evan associated snaps with fireworks, which he was terrified of on the 4th of July. So, he anticipated bad things to come, and freaked out and ran inside. He kept saying, "watch out for the fireworks!"

I tried to explain to him that we weren't doing fireworks tonight, just cake and presents. No amount of talking was going to work, so I carried him back outside screaming. (I know, I'm such a sympathetic mom)

Now, when you look at his cake, you might think that I'm cruel and torturing my child. He really did ask for pictures of fireworks on his cake. Which he also specified needed to be chocolate. The boy is obsessed with fireworks, even though he is afraid of them :)

After we sang Happy Birthday while he hid by the door, it was time for presents. Evan was still not thinking it was a very good idea. So he hid inside his train tent. Apparently he felt safe there. I am glad that he is able to cope with his anxiety and find ways to feel safe, even if he is being forced to stay near the cause of his stress. So, instead of making a big deal out of it, we proceeded with present opening while he was in the tent. No one could see him, so I'd hand him a present inside the tent, he'd open it, give it back to me and I'd show everyone else. Not ideal, but it works

Finally, for the last three presents he was okay with being out in the open. Thank you to everyone for your generosity. Evan will have entertainment for years!We set up most of the gifts he got, and all the kids had a great time playing with the new toys. One of the gifts that Alex and I gave Evan was a rocket launcher. He LOVED it, it was such a hit! Even I think it's a lot of fun.

Thanks again to everyone who came and for the love you show to my son. We are truly blessed to live near so many family and friends.

Happy Birthday Evan!

Rule #116: It's good to be on the charts

2011-07-27T23:43:00.009-06:00

Last week both Evan and Graham had a visit to the doctor. I loved being able to schedule them for the same time, it was so efficient!

Evan was fairly anxious during the visit, so we started with Graham, hoping to give him some time to warm up.

I'm happy to report that Graham is doing very well.

Weight: 19lbs 1 oz (25%)
Length: 29 in (75%)

OFC: 18.8 in ......wait for it.....(95%)!!! We're back on the charts!

His head has only grown 0.3 inches in three months! Which is great, it means that his shunt is working and that eventually he will grow into that giant noggin of his. :)

Graham is still, for the most part, a very happy boy. He's been having a few night at bedtime, or in the middle of the night that he is very upset. We would handle it differently if he didn't have his shunt, but since he does, we don't let him cry for too long. That kind of prolonged pressure isn't very good for his shunt. I hope this won't be a more frequent occurrence, but we'll just have to wait and see.

He has started to be a mama's boy. He eats slightly better for me, and wants to be around me all the time! (which is flattering) His smile still melts my heart, and I will snuggle with him as long as he lets me.

He can roll from front to back and back to front. He still isn't crawling yet, but I'm not worried. He is an inquisitive boy, and he'll get there. To be honest, after his shunt, I didn't really give him many opportunities to explore his own movements, I just didn't want anything to happen to his head. So in my mind, he's only had 8 months to figure out this crawling business. :)

Still no teeth yet, even though he drools all. day. long. It never stops. He eats baby food pretty well, and has started eating a few small table foods. Tell you what, he thinks regular food is WAY better than baby food. If he would just get some teeth, I could give him more options...until then, my hands are tied.

He's a darling baby and we love having him in our family.
Next was Evan's three year appointment.
I know this is blurry, but I love this kid's grin

Weight: 28 lbs (10%) nice and steady

Height: 38.25 in (50%)

Evan has made some amazing progress over the last year. He is now officially kicked out of Early Intervention (because he is three). We haven't been concerned about his communication for quite some time now. His issues remain his anxiety and social skills.

He was evaluated for the school districts program, and didn't qualify. Which doesn't surprise us at all. It's extremely difficult for a kid with solely social issues to qualify, because we have no way of knowing how the issues will impact him in school. The plan is to enroll him in the district's preschool, and observe him for 6 weeks. At the end of the 6 weeks the teacher will decide if his anxiety and delayed social skills impede his ability to excel in school without added help. Even is he still doesn't qualify (which is highly likely) he'll get to stay in that preschool, we'll just start paying for it. I'm very pleased with this plan, and he will start school in Sept.

Evan has also become very attached to me, and only wants me to put his shoes on, or play with him, or give him food etc. It gets to be a little exhausting, but it is nice to be wanted and loved. I just feel bad for Alex, we need to bring a girl into this family to get super attached to him!

Evan is becoming very independent and wants to do everything himself. Except use the toilet. He has no interest in become THAT independent. *sigh. Some day.

He is a very loving brother, giving Graham toy after toy, until Graham has no more space around him. And he LOVES to make Graham laugh. I'm certain it's the highlight of his day. When Graham whines/cries, and I don't respond fast enough (in Evan's eyes) he yells out "Graham got sad!" until I remedy the situation.

He's been watching a few more movies these days. His favorite is Sandlot (not entirely proud of that one...but he loves it), he also watches Sleeping Beauty, Sword in the Stone, Winnie the Pooh and our wedding video (Mommy in the White Dress)

He loves puzzles of all kinds, playdoh, spinjas, anything he can throw high into the air, his bath toys and books. He "reads" to himself for long periods of time before he falls asleep. Sometimes he wakes up in the middle of the night, reads a book then falls back asleep. Silly kid.

Evan is a riot and he makes me laugh every single day. Sometimes I struggle disciplining him, because it's hard to keep a straight face around him. And even though he can be a bit of a bully to me, he will also randomly run up and give me kisses and hugs, just because. That does a mom's heart good.

Love this kid!

Rule #115: Insecticide is not a sin, especially under duress.

2011-06-24T23:07:00.000-06:00

Thursday morning started out like any other, and Evan wanted to play outside in his pool, as he often does. So we did around 10am. Then we went inside. Then around noon I looked out our kitchen window to see an unusual gathering on our back porch.

Hundreds and hundreds of bees were swarming one of our kiddy lawn chairs.

At this point we should've called a bee-keeper... but we were also being held hostage in our house, unable to enter our backyard. And in those circumstances my fight or flight must've kicked in because all I was thinking was "How do I kill that many bees without getting stung?." Instead of "How do I save these poor innocent bees from my imminent wrath?."

This first video is the earliest shot I took, when the bees were apparently still debating about where to place the primary hive cluster.

My first plan was to just throw a large brown garbage can over the whole thing, and then decide upon further course of action. The plan would've worked perfectly....

...but as you can see the incompetent garbage can was not big enough for the job.

And that was when the bees fate was really decided, because I was actually hoping that the garbage can would simply trap the bees. Albeit I was planning to either raid into the can or let them all die from being stuck in there... but if it had worked, I likely would've come to my senses and thought about calling a beekeeper.

Plan B (maha!) was to raid under the stuck can, but the pressurized cans don't work upside down. So plan C was to push the can over with a ten-foot pole exposing them to weapons of mass destruction...

Plan C did work like a charm as you just witnessed, so moving on to the aforementioned weapons (bee-lovers may not want to view this next video, many little bees will be killed).

This plan also would've worked perfectly if the can wasn't almost gone, I quickly ran out of raid, and so I killed probably 80%, but left plenty to buzz around and continue holding us hostage. So I went and got more cans and finished them off later. Now I have a lot of dead bees in a garbage can and a greater appreciation of Exclusion.

Rule #114: Chick's dig scars

2011-05-23T20:15:00.004-06:00

Today was the day we got to take the dressings off Graham.

From a nursing point of view, his incisions look really good, no redness, no signs of infection. Nice and straight, they should heal nicely.

From a parents point of view, I kind of liked the dressings better :) Don't get me wrong, his shunt is still not anywhere near the size I thought it was going to be, but now with the dressings gone, it's quite easy to see. Once he has hair and has grown a little more, I'm sure I'll hardly notice it at all. And appearances really don't matter when it's something important...like your brain development. But, it's the first time I've seen his full shunt, and I feel entitled to react a little. :)

Here's Graham sporting his new soon-to-be scars.

On a non-appearance related note. He is doing great! He stopped taking any medication the second day we were home...absolutely refused in fact. He seems to be completely comfortable again. He's still not quite eating as much as before surgery, it is kind of hit or miss. I think he's getting enough, and he seems to be getting a little better everyday. It could also be affected by the fact that he's decided it's worth while to eat solid baby foods! It just took us two whole months to convince him. He's still not eating as much solid food as is recommended, but we are working on it. It's no longer my least favorite part of the day. ;)

I am amazed at how well he has recovered, and how he seems to have no idea that anything happened to him. My little ball of happiness continues to be just that. Happy.

Rule #113: There's no place like home

2011-05-18T20:07:00.004-06:00

I am still surprised how well Graham recovered after surgery. He had a pretty decent night, and I'm sure he would have slept quite well, but he was being woken up every four hours to be checked on. Which meant that so was I. But all in all, we slept as well as you can in a hospital.

The next morning he went for his CT scan and his X-rays to look at his shunt, and make sure everything looked as it should. He did great for the CT, it only took about 5 minutes and he was distracted by the horribly annoying wand that had music and seizure inducing lights. (not really, but it almost gave me seizures)

The X-ray was a completely different story. He had to lay on his right side and was being pinned down by the tech, and was wailing! It was so sad. I've never heard him cry like that, and it took almost 20 minutes to calm him down afterward. :(

As traumatic as that was for him, all the images looked great! He was still eating well, so that meant that we were able to go home! It blows me away that he was discharged just over 24 hours after surgery.

While we waited for the discharge papers, and for Alex to come join us, I played dress up with Graham. Doug bought these baby scrubs when Graham was born. There was no way they would fit him then, but they BARELY fit him now. (fatty) I figured the hospital was the perfect place for this outfit. Doesn't he look adorable?

It true baby fashion, Graham fell asleep 10 minutes before we got our discharge papers. So we decided to let him sleep, and we would leave whenever he woke up. Two hours later, and a much needed nap for myself, we were packed and ready to go!

It has been so nice to be home. There is so much more entertainment here for Graham, and for me. I was getting tired of being the only one to keep him occupied and happy. And it was only for one day! I think I might have gone crazy had it been for several days.

We tried to get a picture with both boys, to show how nice it was to be together as a family. You can see the progression.....

Ahh, it's good to be home!

Rule # 112: Post-op is better than "dur-op" which is better than pre-op

2011-05-17T13:37:00.007-06:00

Whew.

It's been a long day. Like, crazy long. Where every minute was 7 hours kind of long.

It started with waking up in the dark at 6:30, waking the kids at 7, throwing them in the car, dropping Evan off with my sister (thank you!) and heading to the hospital. We were to check in at 8:15. We had woken Graham up at midnight to feed him one last time. Little did we know his fasting would end up to be over 12 hours....

After checking in, and getting his vitals done we were brought to the "toddler pit" to wait for the surgeon and anesthesiologist. We waited for over two hours! The surgery prior to Graham's took longer than anticipated. I swear, that was the longest two hours of my life. Trying to console and entertain a hungry 7 month old for that long is physically and emotionally draining. He did quite well considering that his body was eating itself :)

Graham got Dr. Kestle's initial on his head, to mark where surgery was to be done. It's kind of hard to see, Graham's a wiggle worm, but it's a K.

They finally came to get Graham around 11:20. I was taken back to the recovery room around 12:45. So surgery itself went rather quickly. It was just waiting for an operating room that took so long.

He woke up super hungry, and ticked off that they were trying to feed him sugar water. Apparently that's just as bad as pedialyte to him. I suggested they give him apple juice, which he took, drugged up and still kind of mad, but at least he took it.

We then moved over to our hospital room on the infant surgical unit. He promptly fell asleep, and didn't appreciate that the nurse had to do her job before she could leave him alone. :)

He came back with three tiny dressings. Two on his head and one on his belly. I can't even see the shunt! It's not what I expected at all. The shunts that I see on the babies at work are huge for their little bodies. I guess I didn't anticipate the difference a few months in age/size can make. I don't know what it looks like underneath the dressings. But I can only really feel the tube at his neck, and then I lose it, I can't trace it down his abdomen at all. I'm very pleased. If this is something that he is going to need for the rest of his life (which we still don't know that answer) at least it won't be very noticeable.

Dr Kestle said that when they made the incision the CSF squirted out a bit. Meaning in was under a fair amount of pressure. I feel so much better knowing that his poor little brain isn't being squished anymore. It will take months and months before we know how long he will need this shunt, or if we will have to move it. But I'm okay waiting. The process has been started, and he's doing very well. We won't be getting another MRI for 3-6 months. I'm guessing he'll be getting an MRI around his birthday. (some present right?)

He threw up some apple juice initially, but has since kept all his fluids down. Including three bottles of formula so far. He's my little rock star. You'd never know that he had surgery today, except for his little dressings. He is a tad bit needier, and a little more fussy than normal. But if that's the worst of it, I'll take it!

We still need to have a CT scan in the morning, to make sure that the shunt is working properly. If all looks good, and he is still eating as well as he is, then we will be able to go home tomorrow! Yippie!

We are all very excited about this. Alex and I both took a little cat nap this afternoon while Graham was sleeping. I will be staying here tonight, and getting as much/little sleep as a hospital allows. I will be very grateful to be back home, in my own bed tomorrow. *fingers crossed*

To prove how well Graham is recovering, enjoy this little video of my ball of happiness. :)

Rule #111: Let the sunshine in

2011-05-14T18:01:00.004-06:00

Lest you think our house has become nothing but worry and stress, here are a few pictures showcasing what else we've been up to since the sun decided to join the world again.

Alex has gotten bonsai fever again.

We've also been planting trees like crazy. Five trees just this week!

These first two are coral bark maples

A shade tree for the backyard. There are two like this.

A nectarine tree to replace the one from last year that died.

Chillin' in the backyard

Park playing

Making awesome look easy

Rule #110: The sooner the better

2011-05-14T14:11:00.003-06:00

I finally heard back from the neurosurgeon on Thursday. After much effort on my part. I still think Dr Kestle is a very nice man, but the office system is an absolute joke. I called so many times Wednesday and Thursday, just to get to talk to the Dr to see what was going to be done. It shouldn't be like that. And I'm not upset that Dr Kestle seemed to forget to call, he's a very busy man. And I'm positive if he had been given the message, he would have called right back. Sigh. I hate being an outpatient. If we have to be a patient at all, I'd rather just be inpatient.

That being said, I now know the plan for Graham. Dr Kestle consulted with his fellow neurosurgeons and decided that it's most likely that Graham had an arachnoid cyst that ruptured, and that's why there is fluid on both sides of the membrane.

The first priority is to remove the fluid in the subdural space, since it's supposed to be completely empty. This may or may not also drain the fluid in the arachnoid space. We might also discover that as the fluid on the outside of Graham's brain drains, he may start accumulating fluid on the inside. Which would mean moving the shunt from the subdural space to the ventricle. Dr Kestle couldn't tell me how likely this scenario was, just that it was a possibility. I appreciate being well informed. I would not do well being blindsided a few months from now.

The radiologist also believes that Graham's frontal lobe didn't form properly. It's too thick, and doesn't fold in the right ways. It could look like this from all the pressure/fluid on it, but the radiologist doesn't think so. He thinks it's cortical dysplasia, which is associated with seizures. (I know, just what I wanted to hear right?) He doesn't think the risk of seizures warrants putting Graham on anti-seizure medication right now. But if he does seize at some point in his life, it would be a likely cause.

As far as surgery plans go, they will place a subdural shunt that will travel behind his ear, down his side and end in his abdomen. The CSF that drains with then be absorbed in his abdomen. I was told that recovery time was one to two nights in the hospital. But I have a hard time believing that. Surgeons often underestimate how long recovery really takes. I'm hoping no longer than 4 days.

I'm still working on accepting a shunt, because I really didn't want one. But it is what's best for Graham. It's possible the shunt will come out after a few months, or he might need it for the rest of his life. There are still a lot of unknowns, but I am grateful that surgery is only three days away. It will be so nice to get this part behind us.

Rule# 109: Appearances can be decieving

2011-05-09T22:43:00.009-06:00

We met with Dr Kestle, a neurosurgeon, today. I wish that I could say exactly what is in Graham's head, but it's still unclear.

The MRI that we had done on Thursday wasn't consistent with an arachnoid cyst like we thought it was. It's still fluid,so it's not a tumor-like mass. I'll try to explain it as best I can, but bare with me. It's about to get complicated. :) I drew this picture quickly while at work. I realize it's small and difficult to read, but it can just be an illustration to look back to.Normally CSF stays inside the arachnoid membrane, surrounding the brain. With Graham, for unknown reasons, the CSF is on both sides of the membrane. It doesn't appear that the membrane has created a pocket filled with CSF, which would be an arachnoid cyst. But somehow the CSF is leaking into the dura space as well. All of that fluid is significantly pushing his brain off to the left. It truly is a miracle that he isn't compromised from all of that pressure. I look at him, and I'm just amazed and what a happy, seemingly healthy boy he is. Looking from the outside, I never would have guessed/known.

What all the ends up meaning, is Graham is going to need a shunt from the outside of his brain, down to his abdomen to drain all the fluid. He might only need it for a few months, or he could need it for the rest of his life. There's no way to tell at this point.

I'm bummed. I really didn't want a shunt. Like, REALLY didn't want one. I have to keep reminding myself that the shunts I see are for different reasons, on sicker kids, and complications don't always happen. They wouldn't keep doing shunts if they weren't successful MOST of the time. So this is what I'm working on accepting.

Throughout this whole process, I have never once feared for Graham's future, I have always felt/known that he will be fine. It needs to be fixed and he will be fine. I was hoping for a different kind of fix, but regardless, the outcome will be the same. I know it will. The Lord will take care of my son. I have no doubts. That doesn't mean I've embraced the shunt, or that I won't be anxious for surgery. It doesn't even guarantee that he won't have any complications. But in the grand scheme of things, I know that he will be okay.

Dr Kestle wants to show Graham's MRI to a few of his colleagues, get second opinions and make sure they have the best course of action for surgery. I appreciate this more than I can say. I'm grateful that he is humble enough to ask for help when he may need it. It gives me great faith and confidence in his ability to help my son. I should know the consensus on Wednesday afternoon, and hopefully we will schedule a surgery date as well.

I'm ready for all of the waiting to be over. I'm ready to have the nightmare of surgery and the hospital recovery just a horrible memory. I wish I could just *poof* to future time in Graham's life. But since that's not the point of this life, to skip the hard stuff, we'll just deal with what we're given and be grateful for his overall health and temperament.

Thank you for the continued prayers and overall support. Keep the prayers coming, they can do nothing but good for my son.

Rule#108: Deja vu is overrated

2011-05-06T01:08:00.007-06:00

Graham got to experience deja vu today as he prepared for his MRI for the second time this week. Poor kid. A few things in life are worth repeating, but fasting as a six month old is not one of them.

He actually did fairly well. We discovered that Graham will NOT touch pedialyte. Not even if he's starving. Good thing he's old enough now that he could have apple juice diluted with water to count for his clear liquids. He was even able to take a nap during his fasting period. He's such a good kid.

We got to the hospital, and I was worried that the same callous nurse that sent us home tuesday would be there again today. It would have been very awkward for me, I was kind of dramatic last time. (not on purpose, I was just devastated beyond my control) Thankfully, she wasn't there. The nice receptionist remembered us, and apologised again for tuesday. And the rest of the staff was wonderful.

They took Graham to get checked out by the NNP and chart his vitals. He smiled and played the whole time. Was very interested it all the new toys :)

He thought the oxygen tubing was awesome! I just loved seeing how focused his hand-eye coordination has gotten.

Despite being hungry, he waited as patiently as I could have hoped for. Better than I had hoped for really. If it seems strange that I'm smiling prior to my sons MRI, it shouldn't. Not if you know me. Information is power, and I was about to gain some more power over my son's fate. I was anxious, but excited.

Graham didn't even cry when they placed his IV. He whined a little, but whined and fussed the most while they were tapping his IV in place. The nurses said he was by far the best patient of the day! That's my little ball of happiness!

What in the world is this THING on my hands?!

The medication that they gave Graham to sedate him works incredibly fast! I was holding him in my arms, and I swear, ten seconds latter he's passed out, slumped back, breathing deeply. That is some powerful stuff!

They whisked him away and set him up in the MRI machine. They wouldn't allow me to stay and watch, which I was bummed about. But there was another MRI going on and they had to protect patient confidentiality. blah blah blah. Oh well. I'll get over it.

The MRI lasted about 30 minutes. Alex and I got some dinner while we waited, I was preparing to work my shift later that night and knew that was the only chance I was going to get to eat.

The recovery went very well also. What else would you expect from my little rock star? I mean really, he's just amazing. He slept for a little over an hour, and then the nurses woke him up. They found out I was working that night, and wanted to try and have him wake up before I had to leave.

He was a tad bit cranky, which is a common side effect of the medication. But he drank more apple juice and then finally actual formula! I think he was pretty excited about it, but he couldn't show it because he was still a little drugged. By the time I had to go to work, he was able to go home as well. It was perfect timing. I am so grateful to have this MRI over with. They wouldn't tell me what the MRI showed, because they aren't trained to read them/they aren't supposed to. But I was able to coax a little bit of information out of the nurse.

I asked if it was as big as they thought, to which she looked at me, paused and replied "it's...significant in size." She also thinks he may have an ear infection. Which surprised me. Graham hasn't seemed uncomfortable or irritable at all. But then again, he's a ball of happiness. I'm not sure if balls of happiness are capable of those emotions. :)

While I do wish I knew exactly what the MRI showed, I'm okay to wait. We have an appointment with Neurosurgery on Monday, and we will get some answers then. I'll actually get to talk to SOMEONE who will know what we can do for my son. I'm excited to have a plan, even though that plan with involve brain surgery on my baby. At least the cyst will be taken care of, and I will be able to breath again.

Rule #107: Fasting is not just for adults

2011-05-02T16:21:00.003-06:00

This weekend was lame. I went back and forth between peace and anxiety/fear. I don't do well with minimal information, or a lack of a plan. I just don't. My mind can't go forward, because I don't know what that forward is, so I have no other options but to go back and forth between emotions. I just felt stuck.

While I don't have all of the information yet, and I still don't know when surgery will be or what type of surgery even, I finally have a date for the MRI.

They were looking for a morning appointment, because Graham will have to be fasting...so it was over a week away. (Which I was not okay with) But he only has to be fast for four hours, so I scheduled the MRI for 3:30 tomorrow. He usually takes a pretty good nap in the early afternoon, so hopefully he'll be asleep while he's fasting.

I'm so relived to have a date for the MRI. But now comes a whole new variety of anxiety.

I'm nervous. I won't lie.

If the cyst was large enough for them to find it on ultrasound, how big is it really? Where exactly is it? What will these answers mean for surgery options? The trouble with me is I know too much. But the real trouble is I don't know enough, I need more facts. Until I get all those facts my mind is racing a million miles a minute.

Looking at Graham you would never know he has something pushing on his brain. He's still just as happy and joyful as ever. He is still sleeping/eating/playing well. All that I could ask for.

Thank you all for your prayers and concern. We appreciate it very much. I am not sure how quickly after the MRI I will have more information. But I'll try and let everyone know when I do.

Rule #106: Nothing good comes from spiders

2011-04-29T17:20:00.003-06:00

We just got back from Graham's head ultrasound. He did really well, flirted with all the ladies and found the screen fascinating.

They discovered that Graham has an arachnoid (spider, get it?) cyst on the right side, that's quite large apparently. He needs to have an MRI done to better see the size and to get a plan for how to remove it. Which means he will need surgery.

Sad.

Since Graham isn't adversely affected by the cyst at this point, it's not an emergency. But it is something that needs to be taken care of. His brain looks fine, albeit pushed over to the left side. But since he's a baby, his brain is pretty mailable, and can handle being pushed over for the time being.

I'm grateful that it's not emergent. But the thought of my baby being intubated and sedated makes me sad. I'm grateful for a pediatrician who is proactive.

We're not sure when the MRI will be or surgery for that matter. But when we know more, you'll know more. :)

Rule #105: Some babies are off the charts cute!

2011-04-27T17:01:00.010-06:00

Six months ago, this was what filled me with joy in the middle of the night.

Now it's this face that fills me with joy in the middle of the night. Yes, he still isn't sleeping through the night.

Graham had his 6 month check up today. He is doing very well. Here are his stats.
Weight : 16 lbs 14 oz (40%)
Length: 26.5 in (55%)
Ofc: 18.5 in (>95%....off the charts)

That off the charts business is going to cause a bit of an issue in a few days. Because his head is growing so big so fast, Graham will have a head ultrasound on Friday to make sure everything is a-okay.

Calm down mom, he's fine. :)

Most likely it's nothing but some extra CSF around his brain, but that things are still draining properly. It could be a cyst. But he acts so normal that I'm not concerned in the slightest. But I do appreciate having a pediatrician willing to check things out anyway.
Here's proof that my son is a rock star! Look at him lift up his huge noggin without any trouble :)
He can roll over from front to back. And his head doesn't even make him come crashing to the ground either. It's usually a nice gentle roll. He is so close to sitting up. And he loves the view. He is getting better hand control everyday. It's so fun to see what new things he has discovered this way.
While Graham is REALLY interested in what Alex or I eat, he could take or leave baby food. Leave it mostly. I'm able to get him to eat a little more than Alex, but that's not really saying much. He just doesn't enjoy it. And having to trick him into every bite, just for him to spit most of it out is exhausting. But, he is 6 months old now, and really should be eating more than he does. Which means, even though I don't like it, I need to make more of an effort to offer him baby food every day. (it's been usually every other day because he doesn't like it at all)
We've also recently discovered who Graham looks like. He has many facial expression that are Dougs, but then I came across this photo of my father as a child. Umm, hello? They look so similar. Big head and all!

Graham has been described by my sister as a big ball of happiness. And it's true. He really is. Evan was content with his world. Graham, well he thinks everything is the best. thing. ever! He laughs and giggles and anything and everything, and is always quick to give a smile.

Here he is his trying to hold Jane's hand

I love this face. It looks like he's shouting "I did it!! I touched a girl!"

My kids are the greatest blessing I've ever been given. I can't imagine my life without them. In most ways it feels like Graham has been a part of our family for much longer than 6 months. I can't wait to see who this little munchkin turns out to be!

Love you Teddy Graham

Rule #104: Organization is subjective

2011-04-26T09:32:00.005-06:00

Alex and I have one way of organizing the toys in Evan's room.

Evan has another way entirely.

Most mornings I find his green storage bin filled will ALL of his toys. Every morning. It's gotten to the point where I'm not even willing to put them back in the bins on his shelf. Sometimes I still do, but it's always a short lived motivation.

The other way Evan organizes I can relate to a little more.

He started lining up his toys in the living room. Starting with Graham. (who he often thinks is a toy) He placed the bath sponge on his head, and kept going from there. I tried to "adjust" one of his toys, he got mad, and put it back in it's place. At least he comes by his OCD honestly. I just hope it doesn't get any more pronounced as he gets older.

Rule #103: Easter is not a person

2011-04-20T22:40:00.005-06:00

I am loving Evan's personality as he gets older. I can tell that holidays are just going to keep getting better and better.

This year we were planning on taking Evan to an Easter Egg Hunt (for fun and for therapy). We stayed out later than usual with friends, he didn't go to sleep as well at their house as usual, and then was talking to himself at 2 am after we had gotten home. Plus we have a 6 month old who still gets up in the middle of the night. So when our alarm went off that morning I looked at Alex, and asked him how much he cared if we went to the egg hunt or not. Being the Parents of the Year, we opted not to wake ourselves, or our children up so that Evan could have a anxiety attack in the cold weather.

Evan slept in till 11, so I feel that we made a good decision. A few hours later he talked about going to Easter's house. (We had mentioned the easter egg hunt the night before) Feeling a slight twinge of guilt (but not enough to have done it differently) we decided to have our own mini hunt in our yard. We quickly filled some eggs with candy we already had in the house, and set them in rather obvious places in the yard :) Evan had a great time. He was a little disappointed when there were no more eggs to find, but got over it quickly when he realized the eggs were filled with candy. He kept calling them Easter's eggs.

He found his small presents in our room a few days ago too.

"Open this? Open this!!"
"We need to wait for Easter to open them"
"Go to Easter's house and open this?!"

I've tried several times to explain to Evan that Easter is not a person, it's a holiday. He clearly isn't grasping that concept yet. :)

Feeling the need/desire to be festive, we tried dying eggs with Evan for the first time too. I think he's a bit young still. He had a hard time waiting for the color to set, or waiting for them to dry, wanting to put them back in the colors....regular two year old behavior I think. Other funny things Evan has been saying that have nothing to do with Easter....

~He tells me almost daily that Jesus is at the door, or that Jesus will ring the doorbell and it's not Lisa (his therapist). Oh, and Jesus says "boo" (I'm really not sure where that one is coming from)
~When it's morning he tells me "windows are on, it's daytime" and how the "windows are off, it's nighttime"
~He would live outside if we would let him, and doesn't enjoy the restrictions his baby brother puts on his playtime. But it has just been too darn cold to take Graham out for any length of time. So throughout the day, he will tell me that "Graham needs to take a nap and Evan will go outside."
~If he wants me to say yes to something he knows I'll say no to (probably because he's already asked half a dozen times, and I've said no!) he pulls up his eyebrows, eyes big and wide, nods his head vigorously and asks his question again, ending in "yeah?" Usually I just end up laughing, but still say no. :)

Like I said, I'm loving his personality. He's such a riot!

Rule #102: The past can't compete with the present

2011-03-08T02:49:00.005-07:00

The memory is an amazing thing. There are moments in your life that you carry with you, just as if they happened yesterday. And yet, there are things, that while important at the time, you have difficult time recalling much detail at all.

I was talking to a fellow nurse last night at work. Talking about our children mostly. She was discussing how her 5 year old freaked out at the Grizzles game, covering his ears the ENTIRE time, and how they can't go to Bees games, because the mascot freaks him out. He spends the entire baseball game on edge, watching out for the giant bee. :)

That brought up Evan and his unique personality/issues. She asked me questions about it, asked how I knew something was wrong. I started to tell her, but couldn't describe it as well as I used to. I mentioned that he wouldn't mimick, and didn't care about his world around him, poor to no communication. But I couldn't really elaborate.

Really?

His delays and lack of communication consumed me! How can I not remember what it was like for my child to not care? Have I really forgotten how it started?

That's amazing.

While looking through older posts trying to compare Graham to four month old Evan, I stumbled upon this post That was almost a year ago. What a difference a year makes! I'm surrounded by the present Evan, that I've forgotten was past Evan was like.

Evan now is practically "normal" in most ways. He's only slightly delayed (a few months) in most areas. He's one smart cookie and talks non-stop. And boy does he CARE about his world, and he has opinions! Not to mislead you, he still has Auditory processing disorder, but he's like a new kid! He is still working with Early Intervention, but that's mostly because he loves Lisa and I can bear to take her away from him. ;) They would have let us stop a few months ago, but it's still helpful for him, and he loves it. We'll reevaluate again near his birthday.

Some of his biggest hangups now, are social. Case in point: Sanders birthday party. For reasons unknown to me, he lost his mind at Emilie's house. It wasn't too many people, or too much noise. It was nothing that makes any sense to me. But after GREAT efforts to calm him down, and a walk around the neighborhood, he came back into the house, and promptly went downstairs. Alone. And stayed there the entire party. He didn't want cake or company. He just needed to regroup from....whatever it was that set him off in the first place.

It's moments like this that do remind me of his unique personality. Sometimes I forget a little because he has improved so much. He will be starting a music group this month, and I am excited for what this socialization could do for him. I have hope that with time/age and continued therapy he will get even better, and then my future self won't be able to remember what my present self is so focused on. Maybe a year from now I'll be writing another post, referencing this current post ;)

Memory is such a fickle thing.

Rule #102: Dr Seuss rules

2011-02-24T23:47:00.011-07:00

Big G little g, What begins with G?

Graham's Gigantic noGGin,

G..G..G

Graham had his four month check-up two weeks ago. He's doing well, growing well, and his head is huge! :)

Weight: 13 lbs 9 oz (20%)

Height: 25 3/4 inches (80%)

Head: 17 1/4 inches (90%)!!!

This week I've been overwhelmed with how lucky I am. I have two healthy, happy boys that the Lord has trusted me with. I don't know what I would do without them. Not everyone gets this lucky, and I don't ever want to take it for granted. (remind me of this when I start potty training Evan)

What Graham's been up to:

~He coos and giggles all day long

~thinks Evan is the funniest person on the planet and loves to watch his every move

~As of a few days ago, he can now roll over from front to back. He gets such a kick out of it too. I've never seen him so happy to figure something out!

~He can grab hold of toys within his reach, and every day gets a little more control of those cute hands.

~Has given us a few nights of full sleep. Still not a habit yet, but it's getting closer!

~Loves to cuddle and is so happy all of the time, well, most of the time :)

~Has started having some stranger danger anxiety.

~Eats like it's going out of style :)

On that note, in a previous post I had talked about my struggles with breastfeeding. I continued to fight for every drop, and had placed it in my mind that I would like to make it to March, to try and get him through most of RSV season with my protection. Not even a full 24 hours after deciding that, my supply to a turn for the worse. But I just wasn't ready! I wanted to get to March! Then a small miracle happened. My supply rose just slightly, and maintained through all of February. On March 1st, I barely made two oz. (that's practically nothing). So, with a little help I made my goal of providing milk until March. I'm still pumping about 2-3 times a day, if there is a little milk to be found, I don't want it to go to waste. But he's basically a formula fed baby now. I'm jut thrilled that it lasted twice as long for Graham!

I don't look the best, but here is my four month old fatty, grinnin'. It's the look you'll see most often on his face these days :)

Rule #101: It's who you know

2011-02-18T13:35:00.003-07:00

After I decided to make this blog private, I worried that the few people who follow it wouldn't know when to check for new posts. I blog so sporadically that you're never sure if there is anything new or not.

Then my sister started emailing me when she updated her blog. I thought that was a great idea, and set it up for my blog. I found out that Blogger has a limitation of 10 people they will email. Lame. Not that I have so MANY followers, but I do have more than 10 family members. I was bummed.

Then my good friend Steve asked to be on the email list, I told him of it's limitations and....he fixed it for me. Granted, Blogger still only emails 10 people, but he worked it out so that I can email his website, and then from there, I can email as many people as I want! It's not what you know, it's who you know...as long as the person you know knows more than you :) (ya know?)

That being said, if there is anyone who is not currently receiving email updates from my blog, and would like to, shoot me an email and I'll get you on that list! Thanks again Steve! You're the best!

Rule #100: Play dates are a must

2011-02-10T17:45:00.004-07:00

Evan is finally starting to play WITH other children. It might take him a while to warm up and get to that point, and it might not last the whole time...but there are glimmers of playing together! Not just near each other.

I'm pretty excited for this new phase of Evan's life. I'm excited for him to develop true friendships with friends/cousins. We already know that Sanders is practically the light of his life, but he's starting to branch out in his affections :)

I had the privilege to watch Ethnie's boy Will a few weeks ago. Evan talked about Will for DAYS afterward. He loved having him over to play.

This is Will camera face. That kid cracks me up!

We also had my cousin and his family over for dinner one night, and it was so fun to see how well Evan and Portia (their daughter) played together. Mostly it was Portia who was directing the play and initiating the interaction. But Evan didn't shrink away, or go off into his own space! It was so nice to see.

This is how Graham spends his time during the play dates. He just loves to watch his brother!

Rule #99: Kids say "AAaahhh"

2011-01-28T22:30:00.007-07:00

Evan's favorite book these days is Brown Bear. We read it every day and every night. He LOVES this book. He sits on his bed, and bounces on his knees while we read. Recently he has been "reading" it to Alex and I. It cracks me up every time.

He got a little hung up on the white dog. The second video is him finishing the book.

He can't go on to the next page unless he says the whole phrase without messing up. Sometimes he says yellow duck or goldfish (or any of the animals really) five or six times in a row, until he feels like he said it correctly. Funny kid.

And for your viewing pleasure is another video of Evan, from a few months ago. Please ignore the white trash outfit he's sporting. :)

Rule #98: It's never the same twice

2011-01-19T03:37:00.003-07:00

I went back to work last week.

I had assumed that I would feel just as I felt when I went back to work after having Evan. But just like every child is different, even similar situations are never exactly the same.

I was excited to see my friends. I was excited to be a nurse again. And once there, realized how much I had missed BEING a nurse. It is so much a part of me. I love what I do. I love being able to help critically sick babies. I love seeing the rewards of my efforts when the babies do well. I love being there for the parents. I love it all.

But of course I miss my boys. All three of them. After three months of being home with all of them, it was a little bittersweet to go back to work. That, I expected. But last time, I was no longer breastfeeding. I did not anticipate what a difference that would make for me to leave.

Breastfeeding does not come easily for me. It has been an up and down rollercoaster of success and (seemingly) failures. I really wanted to make my milk last longer for Graham than it did for Evan. And believe you me, I have worked hard at it. For several weeks, pumped after every time I nursed (minus night time feedings, lets be honest...I didn't need it to work out THAT desperately) and it was rewarding to see all of the effort pay off.

I got my wish. I wanted to be able to experience pumping at work. Not for the actually physical experience, but for what it would mean. I made it at least three months! I have been able to provide for my child for three months! I didn't forsee any downside to this.

It made it harder to leave.

I don't love Graham any more than I love/loved Evan. But there is a different connection when you are breastfeeding your baby. It was harder to think that he would be getting a bottle x number of times while you are gone. Trying to decide how many times you want your sleep the next morning to be interupted so that you could nurse your baby and not loose your supply, and still get enough sleep to work again that night. It was just different.

I am now starting my second week back at work. Things seems to be falling right back into sync. It's a nice feeling, loving what I do, knowing my children are well cared for, loving the time we get to spend together as a family. We like our routine. It's nice to know that even if things don't feel exactly as you expected, they can still be good.

Rule #97: Faith protects us from darkness

2011-01-14T16:53:00.000-07:00

Alex gave Graham a blessing in church this past Sunday. We had overwhelming support from all of our families. We are so glad that you were able to share that with us. Alex blessed Graham with the faith to overcome the darkness, with love for all those around him, and with a knowledge and testimony of our Savior. It was a beautiful blessing.

Graham wore the same outfit that Evan wore two years ago. Thanks to my sister who let me borrow it both times. It has suspenders and a bow tie, and I think he looked handsome!

While we were planning for the gathering afterward, we realized just how much family was going to be there! We needed to make space for over 70 people! (children included) We had some doubts that our home would be able to fullfill that need, but with some rearranging and a lot of borrowed chairs we pulled it off! And it didn't even feel like sardines in a can to me!

Granted the kitchen was quite crowded, but there's really nothing that we could do to prevent that. It's nice to know that if another child is born in the winter months (though I'll do what I can to prevent it!) we would be able to host family again.

Thank you for all who came and the love and support that we feel from each of you!

Smiling at Grandpa Doug

Some of our attempts at obtaining a family photo.

Classic.

Rule #96: Never remodel alone.

2011-01-14T16:30:00.000-07:00

In the last week of December and first week of January we remodeled our upstairs bathroom tub. If you've ever wondered, it's really not so bad, just follow these 58 easy steps...
Step 1: Remove corroded faucet, handle and showerheads, discard.

Step 2: Remove old tile using chisel, hammer and brute force.

Step 3: Enlist brother-in-law to help you remove tile and discover that the tile can be removed in sheets one wall at a one (Thanks Mark!)
Step 4: Carry sheets of tile outside for later disposal/yard decoration.

Step 5: Cut hole in ceiling below tub for easy access.

Step 6: Turn off water and remove old plumbing from underneath tub.

Step 6-A: Cut hole in floor to facilitate removal of old plumbing.

Step 7: Remove baseboards and cut out pieces of wall to assist in tub removal.

Step 8: Enlist another brother-in-law, friend and home teacher to help remove old tub. (Thanks to Kevin, Devin and Jake!)
Step 9: Use car jacks, creative thinking and brute force to get 3 ton cast iron tub onto piano dolly.
Step 10: Carefully wheel tub outside and place in gutter.

Step 11: Load tub into truck and haul to the dump.
Step 12: Figure out what else you need and visit store to buy more new plumbing parts.

Step 13: Add valves to water pipes for localized shut-off.
Step 13-A: Contemplate the value of hole in the floor going from the upstairs bathroom to downstairs living room for easy transport of goods.

Step 14: Play in the construction dust.

Step 15: Bring home new tub, play in that too.

Step 16: Remove door-frame parts to make space for new tub.
Step 17: Place new tub in it's final resting place.
Step 18: Install new plumbing.
Step 19: Visit store for electrical supplies.
Step 20: Install new breaker in laundry room.

Step 21: Run new wiring from underneath tub and into the bowels of the house.
Step 21-A: Cut off excess lathe and wood until you can dislocate your neck and shoulder to fit into the bowels of the house and pull wiring into furnace room.

Step 21-B: Run wiring along ceiling into laundry room and into newly installed breaker.
Step 22: Install new plug in bathroom to power Jacuzzi tub on other end of new wiring.
Step 23: Visit store for tiling supplies, several if possible.
Step 24: Clean walls in preparation for new backer board.
Step 25: Cut and install new backer board.
STEP 26-45: TILE.

Step 46: Install new fixtures.
Step 47: Grout.

Step 48: Clean off excess grout, let it dry, then scrape off the rest.
Step 49: Seal grout.
Step 50: Seal grout again.

Step 51: Repair walls.
Step 52: Replace baseboards and install new ones as needed.
Step 53: Repair hole in the ceiling.
Step 54: Paint walls and ceiling.
Step 55: Visit paint store for more 'just barely not white' paint for downstairs ceiling.
Step 56: Paint ceiling again.
Step 57: Fill in edges with silicone.
Step 58: Mwa ha! There is no step 58... because you're already done!

Before

After

We're very excited about our new bathroom, and we're especially grateful to Dave my father-in-law for all his help, he was there every day and it wouldn't have been an option without him. Thanks also to April, Emilie, Doug, Susan, Annie, and Stephanie for lending husbands and/or watching children. We're so lucky to have such wonderful support from family and friends!

Rule #95: Average is cute

2011-01-12T21:37:00.005-07:00

Before Graham turns three months, I'd like to document his two month information. So far he's still bigger than Evan was at his age. But I think our pediatrician is tricking us. On the paper they sent home with his weight, they said he was in the 50%. But looking it up ANYWHERE else, tells me he's 10-25%. But average or not...he's still stinkin' cute!

Height: 23 inches (25-50%)

Weight: 10 lbs 10 oz (10-25%)

Graham has been a very pleasant baby. He's a little bit more "needy" than his older brother, wants to be held a lot more, and wont fall alseep out of our arms, or the car seat. So that has been a tiny bit challenging, considering we have a demanding two year old as well. Luckily, Alex and I both have been home to make Graham's demands work out.

He has started to giggle and laugh and he loves, loves to play! Pat-a-cake and Head/Shoulders are his favorite games. How he responds to me, Alex and Evan just melts my heart.

He keeps teasing me though. I'll think he's starting into a routine, and the next day it's like starting from scratch. For a while he took nice long naps in the afternoon, and was only getting up once at night, after he fell asleep at 11. But now we're back to mini naps that last 30-45 mins, and waking up twice. He could be growing, he does have a little cold. All of these things could be the culprit. And I also know that waking up twice a night is pretty good for a not yet three month old. So, I'm trying not to get too excited when he gives me a particularly good day (or night)

He's fat and happy, and I really can't ask for more than that!

Rule #94: Laughter is contagious

2010-12-14T19:07:00.003-07:00

This is a video of Evan playing with our friends puppy. Yes, as large as she is, she's only a puppy still. Evan was having the time of his life with Cosette. When he laughs and squeals with delight I can't help myself...I laugh myself silly too!

Enjoy!

Rule #93: Riddles don't always have an answer.

2010-12-03T16:36:00.005-07:00

Which came first, the bat or the vampire?

This is a very belated Halloween post, but I've just got to get it in there. Evan got dressed up twice on Halloween, in two different costumes. That morning Doug and Susan took him to Boo at the Zoo. It was rather chilly, and we didn't want to get his "real" costume dirty, so we sent him off in last years warm monkey costume. Luckily, my boy doesn't grow much and it still fit. It was a tad short, but it got the job done.

He had a fantastic time with his grandparents, can you tell?

Later that night we dressed up both the boys and took them around to see the grandparents. Including Great Grandma Mary, but we failed to get a picture with her.

Evan was less than thrilled about getting dressed :)

Here is Aunt Chrissy holding Graham, dressed up as a bat.

My Papa meeting Graham for the first time. (He was in China for his birth)

Evan and Dave (Pappa)

Graham all tuckered out after his first Halloween

Even Jasmine got into the spirit of the holiday

Rule #92: Actions speak louder than words

2010-12-03T15:53:00.003-07:00

Evan has been a regular two year old lately. Tantrums, testing his boundaries, you know, the good stuff. And as maddening as it is to put him in time out a thousand times a day, he does provide some good stories as well.

Case in point. While walking up the stairs to our landing I hear Evan cheerfully saying "Oh, Evan No! Oh, Evan No!"

Worried and grumbling, wondering what he has gotten into I turn the corner and see that my happy toddler has dumped Jasmines water all over the landing floor.

Without missing a beat, and unable to contain myself I groan, "Oh, Evan...no!"

It seems he must hear that phrase a time or two :)

And time outs seem to be thoroughly ineffective. I saw him hit Jasmine, put himself in time out, say "sorry Jas" just to take himself out of the corner and hit her again....and walk himself right back to the corner!

But having a toddlers not all bad. He's a delight to be around, when he chooses to grace me with his charms. It's usually really easy to get him to laugh and play. His new love is play dough, and puzzles. Man that kid would put together (or rather take apart) his dinosaur puzzle all day if we let him. He's actually getting pretty good and putting it together without our help. And once he's mastered that, I think I might just LET him do puzzles all day long if it makes him happy.

He's talking very well now. When he's in a comfortable environment he'll talk your ear off. He can rattle off 6 or 7 word sentences. He's also starting to understand jokes a little. Like I said, when he has a mind to, he's an adorable little boy.

He's been loving having a baby in the house. He's excited to see him every morning, and if Graham happens to be asleep, he lets us know just how disappointed he is. He gives him lots of hugs and kisses still. Graham is finally becoming aware of his big brother, and is very interested in this loud noise maker when he gets close enough to see.

Rule #91: Pick your role models wisely

2010-10-29T21:22:00.004-06:00

Evan has gotten into a habit of lifting up his shirt, mostly just absent mindedly. Because of all my People magazine exposure, my mind keeps referring back to one person.

"The Situation" from Jersey Shore Meet the new situation

Rule #90: Fat is subjective

2010-10-29T20:55:00.011-06:00

Graham had his two week check up today. He is doing everything a 12 day old baby should, and he is growing very well.

This little fatty is in the 50%! I honestly didn't think that would ever happen with any of Alex's children. I'm not saying I expect Graham to stay in the "average" (or in our minds "fatty") category forever, but just the fact that he's started out so hefty is a feat! :)

His weight: a whopping 7 lbs 11 oz (50%)
Height: 21 1/4 inches (75%)
OFC: 14 1/4 inches (50%)

He's just average all around it seems. And just as cute as a button!
My sister Annie made Graham two onesies. This one with the letter G and one that says [handmade] on it. Both very cute! Thanks sis! You can't see the G very well in this picture, but look at that face! I had to post it.
This is a typical afternoon hanging out with the family. Evan does love his brother not that you'd be able to tell he's interested at all in this picture.

Mom and Graham (I love yawning pictures)

A better view of the G, although it is a bit washed out due to the flash. Trust me, it's adorable!

Graham is sleeping like your average newborn. He has a few good hours in the morning when he's awake and alert. Then sleeps soundly most of the day. Sometime has another awake time in the late afternoon, but if not....is awake around 2 am. For a few hours. Yeah, I can't wait for his schedule to turn around.

But otherwise, he's a very calm baby, similar to Evan in his temperament so far. We'll see if it lasts. I don't want to count my chickens, I know that things could change, but Graham doesn't seem to have a fussy period in the day yet. In some ways it feels like he's been part of our family and routine for much longer than 12 days. I love this little man to pieces!

Rule #89: Sometimes two is easier than one.

2010-10-17T18:04:00.001-06:00

Graham Douglas Davis was born at 6:48 AM. He weighs 7 lbs 6 oz and is 21 inches long. Both he and mom are doing very well. Meghan's recovery is much smoother and quicker than last time.

Saturday night we had friends over for dinner and a movie, and during the middle of the movie Meghan started having contractions. (This is the same scenario as Evan, with friends, about 10pm, born 9am the next day.) By 1 AM they were frequent enough to head out. April stayed with Evan during the night. Between 2 AM - 6 AM Meghan had her epidural and two doses of antibiotics for GBS (ask her if you want to know more).

At about 6:35 AM the room became an efficient little beehive of acitivity going from one nurse to 6 personnel including the doctor. Two contractions later baby was out, had his cord cut, got sucked out, weighed, etc. By 7 AM it was just mom, son and I.

Rule #88: Don't forget mom's favorite season

2010-10-11T22:15:00.008-06:00

The best season of the year is finally here! It took it's sweet time getting here too. (I was getting pretty tired of 90 degree weather in September.) But now that it's here I'm trying to soak in as much as possible before the baby comes and I'm more or less confined to the indoors.

We met up with the Dalys at the Pumpkin Patch this weekend to bring in the fall. Evan was really excited to meet up with his cousins. He loves that Sanders will play his favorite game with him. "big circles". Pretty much they just run around each other, with Evan saying "big circles" over and over. It's a riot to watch.
There was a haybale maze for the kids, and then everyone got to pick out their own pumpkins. Karaia was all about picking out pumpkins for everyone in her family. Which was difficult to do. There were so many "perfect" pumpkins to choose from. It was a great time. We even picked up a tiny pumpkin to represent the new son we will have by halloween. :) Welcome Fall!

Evan running "big circles" in the maze

This was an attempt to get all three boys looking at the camera. Yeah, it worked really well. :)

Tennyson showing me how strong he is

Evan showing off his mad verbal skills :)

Rule #87: Nothing bad about a two year old

2010-10-07T03:42:00.006-06:00

I know, I know. This post is months over due. No excuses, just down to business.

And that business is all about Evan. Here are his two year stats. (finally)

Weight: 23 lbs 13 oz (7%)
Height: 34.5 inches (55%)
OFC: 18.5 ( 10%)

He's keeping his trend of being in the low end of normal for his weight, but that's better than Alex did at his age. He really was off the charts for years. So we're happy with his consistency. I don't expect him to switch gears on us anytime soon.

As far as Evan's mad skills are concerned...he has a lot, and he just keeps getting better and better every day. Karaia taught him how to climb a ladder at his birthday party, and now he's pretty good at it. It still makes me a little nervous, because that's just who I am, but he has yet to hurt himself on his playset, and he LOVES getting to the slide by himself.

Evan is a BIG fan of jumping. He will jump on anything he can find, or just the ground if that's all he's got to work with. It's so cute to watch him get both his feet off the ground.

He's big into drawing/coloring right now. He's even started to label what HE is drawing, instead of just demanding that I draw a big cloud, flower, sun etc for him. He knows most of his colors and practically all of the alphabet. He knows numbers, and can usually count to at least 4 or 5 in sequence. Although numbers and counting don't actually mean much to him.

He transitioned into a big bed at the end of August. (I know, it's a post in and of itself, also way past due) We hadn't gotten the room ready yet, but have since painted at least. Once we get a few more details in place, I'll post pictures. He's done really well for the most part...but he's also become a two year old in the last few weeks. Complete with stubbornness, tantrums and defiance.

The tantrums would be slightly comical if they weren't so frequent. Because of our hard wood floors, Evan won't throw himself to the floor and scream. Instead, he slowly melts to the ground, then as soon as his head softly touches the floor, he starts his fit. But it can be about anything and everything. Welcome to toddlerhood I'm told.

He's also started becoming a defiant little person. Raising his eyebrow while he looks at me, just before he does what I have told him not to do three seconds earlier. So, we are working on disciplining and molding our son, hopefully to be a respectful, kind boy. We'll see how well that goes.

Verbally he has blown all expectations out of the water. I have no idea how many words he says at this point. Everyday he adds at least one more. Which is why I think it's so frustrating for him to disobey me, because I KNOW he understands what I'm saying now...no benefit of the doubt any more! I'm thrilled that he has progressed so quickly, and I can't wait for when we can more involved conversations with him. Alex taught him the word "usurper" the other night. And while Evan doesn't know what it means, I love that he tries to say it anyway. It was really cute.

He's starting to recognize the names of family members, and loves to see them all. He still talks about Sanders/Tennyson's fan almost daily, and it's been weeks since we watched the Dalys.

He's still a very loving, MOSTLY mild mannered boy. Although the mildness seems to be wearing off a bit.

He's the light of my life and I can't imagine living with out him. I will admit with these new traits I'm slightly anxious about how Evan will respond to his new brother. But hopefully his loving side will win out and things will go well!

Rule #86: More work is often less work.

2010-08-22T00:54:00.000-06:00

This year we made some upgrades to our garden area. We added weedcloth, more bark, and stepping stones. It's much lower maintenance now. It was finished a while ago but I never got around to blogging about it.

Weedcloth and the boy.

Bark and stones.

All done, plus the boy.

Garbage can nest.

The boy's fake laugh.

Can you read two books at once?

Evan raiding the Lucky Charms for the marshmallows.

Rule #85: 2 is better than 1

2010-07-28T23:21:00.012-06:00

We celebrated Evan's 2nd birthday on Monday. I just can't believe that my baby is 2, and then it hits me, he's not my baby anymore. He's my big boy. My toddler. Crazy.

It was a fabulous day spent together as a family and to top it off so many of our friends and family were able to join us in the evening for dinner and cake! Thanks to everyone who was able to be there and celebrate with us.

We were missing a few grandparents and siblings, but that's just the way life goes sometimes. We know they would have been there if they were able.

I didn't get a picture of Evan and his cake on my camera, but some family did, so when I get those shots, I'll upload them.

Evan was throwing a fit when it came time to open the presents, so we whipped through them pretty fast. But I wanted everyone to know how much he really did love the thoughtful gifts that you gave them. So I made sure to get a picture of each and every one of them. So here we go.

Evan giving kisses to the potato head cat from Bri and family

Playing with the water toys from the Millers

Green truck from Amy and the kids

Reading the book from Grandpa Guy and Grandma Emma. Playing with their puzzle below

Reading the book from Great Grandma Davis

Dressing his Evan doll made by Emile

Playing with the cars from Aunt Chrissy. Not shown is Evan dancing to the music card from Chrissy. It was priceless!

Loving the Golf clubs from Dave and Christina

Riding his new power wheels from Grandpa Doug and Grandma Susan!

Drawing on the magnadoodle from Mom and Dad

We lucked out just barely with the weather. It rained just a little before the party, and then the rain came down and kicked everyone to the curb at 8! Which was the end of the party anyway, so it worked out well. I, for one, was thankful for the rain. It meant that it wasn't quite a thousand degrees for this pregnant woman!

Evan has his two year checkup on Friday, so I'll post all of the amazing qualities of my son when I post his stats. I like to keep his fans on the edge of their seats. :)

Rule #84: Inaminate objects are at your mercy.

2010-07-25T23:56:00.001-06:00

Recently Evan has been playing toddler games on Sesame Street's website. If he sees the computer he starts repeating "Elmo? Elmo?" The only games he can play yet are ones where you can push any letter or number of the keyboard. But he has had trouble because he often hits keys that bring up other menus and so forth. So I finally figured out I could pop some of the keys off an old keyboard and make one just for him.

Aforementioned highly modified keyboard.

Jasmine wearing a glow collar.

The couch tried to eat Evan while he was watching Signing Time.

Sesame street game with Elmo.

Evan likes to feed Jasmine his snacks, which we hopelessly try to discourage. So one time I tried shutting Jas in another room while he snacked. The attempt was futile as usual.

A cat was sitting on our fence, which Jasmine was not keen on, the cat however seemed indifferent while Evan was more interested in a large pot that the ensuing spectacle.

Rule #83: Words are meant to be spoken

2010-07-11T03:23:00.006-06:00

*warning: this may be a sappy post, too much for your stomach to take. You've been warned. :)

My husband is amazing.

I know that everyone thinks that about their spouse (as they should) but seriously, Alex is something else. I have never known anyone to be as selfless as he is. I fear I may be getting lazier than I already was, because he does everything for me. He tells me that I'm the one spoiling him by letting him be the homemaker...but I think he's just trying to make me not feel guilty when I'm having a particularly pregnant day, and don't feel like doing anything.

He's a fantastic father. Evan adores his daddy, and lets us know by repeating "daddy" all day long. Alex doesn't seem to get frustrated as easily, by the stubborn toddler we have running around these days. He takes everything in stride. While I'm the one Evan cuddles with the most, Alex is the one he's rough and tumble with. And it's so fulfilling to watch their relationship grow stronger everyday.

But that's not what this post is about.

I could list a thousand and one things I love about my husband. But I won't. The whole reason this post exists, is because there are a few specific things I have to say.

I married a humble man.

I married a devoted man.

I married a highly spiritual man.

I married a forgiving man.

I married a man who can focus on loving everyone he knows, regardless of what faults they may have. (including my own- he even thinks some of my faults are endearing)

I married a patient man. One who does not get frustrated when I stumble, one who is there to teach and encourage me to always strive to be a better person.

With all this going for him, you'd think that he would think he's amazing. But I said it before, I married a humble man. I don't think I had any idea how important that would be when I chose Alex. Recently, it has meant everything in the world to me. Everything.

I would apologize for this personal/mushy post, but I've been so impressed by him lately. Of course I tell him these things in the privacy of our own home, but it just wasn't enough.

Sometimes, without understanding why, the words just have to come out.

Rule #82 Part 2: So do videos.

2010-07-10T01:27:00.004-06:00

Tickles. (0:35)

Filling up our huge new pool. (0:54)

Boo! (0:36)

It's hot, lets go to the pool. (1:01)

Someone is spraying my face. (1:38)

Rule #82: Pictures burn holes in memory cards.

2010-07-10T00:36:00.001-06:00

Playing during an Early Intervention visit with Lisa.

Evan and Jasmine watching the front yard.

Some light reading.

Evan and his friend Lily.

Jasmine isn't very good with ropes.

Getting ready for halloween. Boo... boo... BOO!

Evan had a followup appointment with the allergist, still allergic to all tree nuts.

Rule #81: Progress is progress

2010-06-03T03:48:00.007-06:00

The last time I wrote about Evan's progress he was just starting to mimic and say a few words. I'll tell you what, that kid is learning everyday! I'm also fairly certain he understands more than he lets on...but I can be patient if I have to. Here's what Evan is up to these days.

He says Daddy whenever he sees Alex, or if I talk about Daddy...Evan is a big fan of his father, no question.

He will say Mama if encouraged, but not all the time. Mostly he will say it when I talk to him on the phone on the nights that I am working.

He says Hi to everyone, it melts my heart to have him walk into a room and say Hi.

He says Hey Bear to one of his stuffed animals that he has latched onto. That also melts my heart. And he's beginning to pretend play with Hey Bear too. He'll give him a drink and hug and kiss him. (The drink is usually after I do it first, but he's copying me. That is a big step alone!)

He now says "boo" even if he's just playing hide and seek with some crayons. Play hide and seek the next time you see him, it's the cutest thing I've ever seen!

This is Evan about to say "boo"

A few weeks ago when it snowed, I was pointing out the white world to Evan, said the word Snow, and he said it back! It was amazing. He already says No like it's going out of style, so it wasn't a big stretch to add an S, but he heard me, and said Snow!

And today in the grocery store, I said the word "auto", but since I am from Utah and will occasionally forget the "t" I said "audo" And Evan looked at me and said it right back! That's more than adding an "s" in my mind, he doesn't say any words like sound like audo, but he does now!

He signs Daddy, Please (when he wants to) Dog and Flower. Sometimes he'll sign Mommy, Hot and Bath.

He has signed banana, drink, happy, cry, cheese and bread a handful of times. But doesn't seem very consistent with them.

He can follow a few commands (makes him sound like a dog...) like getting his shoes from him room. He even knows what drawer to open. He can pick out the pig, cat and cow magnets, sometime the elephant too. Overall he seems to be comprehending better in general.

His therapies continue to go well, and we are all thrilled with his progress. The speech therapist will be coming for the first time this month, so we'll see how that goes. I'll try and be better about keeping everyone updated on Evan's mad skills. :)
Mostly, I just love this kid! Sometimes it's hard to believe I'm going to have another one and love him just as much. Doesn't seem possible, but I know that it is.

Rule #80: You should never trust a pencil

2010-06-01T23:12:00.010-06:00

Some of you may remember a post I made a while back, talking about the accuracey a pencil has to predict baby genders? If not, click here to refresh your memory.

Turns out you can't really trust a pencil afterall. (shocking, right?)

I went for my big ultrasound today and all is way with new baby Davis. But, it turns out my baby is a boy! To the suprise of several people around me who were convinced I was having a girl.

Alex and I are very excited to be having another boy. It will be so fun for Evan to have a best little buddy around!

It just goes to show you that you can't put too much faith in a posessed pencil. :)

Now all we have to do now is pick out a name for our new little son. (Here comes the hard part)

Rule #79: Don't talk to strangers

2010-05-31T23:47:00.003-06:00

sigh

I've been getting "comments" for over a month now from people I don't know. Now, if they were blog stalkers that actually commented on what I wrote, maybe it wouldn't bother me. But all of these comments are in a different language. (Chinese, Japanese...I don't know the difference. I'm not as cultured as I pretend to be okay?)

It used to be an occasional "comment" would show up. Now I'm getting them everyday. It's starting to tick me off. I really didn't want to go private, I like to blog stalk other people and not that I thought my blog was that fascinating, but I liked the option people had to blog stalk me if they wanted to. (They just should've kept their mouths/keyboards shut and then I never would have known.)

Regardless, I am now going private. I'll be making the change next week. So, if you'd like to be included, please send me your email address. Thank you.

Rule #78: More kids is more fun...

2010-05-01T21:03:00.005-06:00

During this past week we took care of Evan's cousin Sanders for a few days while his family was in CA. It was fun to add some variety to the house, but Evan had mixed feelings. While at times they played together, Evan was incredibly sensitive to everything, I think the best word is stressed. Here are a few videos while Sanders was here that don't showcase his stress.

Evan doesn't like to eat, and Sanders does, so they found the perfect solution. (1:45)

Sanders quickly discovered as Evan has how fun it is to 'play' with Jasmine. (1:11)

Evan and Sanders throwing things, sometimes even to each other. Be warned, this one is a little long. (5:23)

Rule #77: Everyone likes pictures.

2010-04-16T22:10:00.009-06:00

Meghan was craving some orange juice

And didn't want to wait... or be on camera.

But she's pregnant, so it's ok.

Jasmine likes the view while riding on Evan, and though he isnt laughing here, he thinks it's a great time.

Jasmine is in there for the dust, and Evan had to see what the fuss was about.

Ever want to grow your very own limestone cave? Try using hardwater.

These rock solid friends were living in our tub pipe, somewhat hindering its ability to drain.

Rule 76: You can't put it off forever

2010-04-14T04:41:00.007-06:00

Some of you may or may not have noticed my lack of blogging for the last few months. Some of it has to do with the first trimester of pregnancy and feeling like a bump on a log. But most of it is this...sheer lack of desire.

I've needed to update on Evan for months now. But I didn't want to. I had gotten frustrated with the lack of understanding of what was going on with Evan, and how I feel about. I didn't want to get into it. But how do you update on your child and ignore who they are? So, I've decided that I can't put it off any longer. More importantly, I don't want to put it off any longer.

Let me say first, there have been many good intentioned people in my life, family or otherwise, that try to convince me nothing is "wrong" with Evan. I can only assume it is because they think I am sad. I would like to clarify, I am okay with Evan being developmentaly delayed. I have accepted it, and I am moving on in the direction of progress. My thoughts are now, How can I help him overcome these delays? I am not denying they exist. Please accept this with me.

That being said, a few months ago our wonderful developmental therapist, Lisa, had some test results for us. *I'm about to throw out a bunch of nonsensical jargon your way. Keep reading, I'll try to explain.* Evan has Auditory Processing Disorder, Poor Motor Planning and Low Registration. What the H does that mean? Yeah, we said that too.

The easiest way I have found to explain this is as follows. Evan has a learning disability. He doesn't grasp/comprehend information the way that you and I do. He needs big gestures, lots of excitement to even pay attention (low registration) He's not very aware of his body or his surroundings, and has difficulty knowing how to get from A to B. (poor motor planning) He hears the words, but they often mean nothing to him, requiring repetition to comprehend (auditory processing) Implications for the future; he may have some trouble learning in school. He most likely will have difficulty with group instruction, things like that.

If you are like I am, you will have already googled all of those terms only to find them all linked with Autism. I won't lie. I was pretty upset. But, after talking to Lisa she told me that at this point Evan still does not have a "diagnosis". And it is likely that we won't find out any answer to the autism spectrum disorder question for years! Years people! Anyone who knows me, KNOWS that I do not like the unknown. After a day to two of frustration and concern, I've accepted it, and moved on to progress.

Who knows what two years with show, Evan is already improving leaps and bounds! So in two years, they might laugh in my face that I was ever worried. Shoot, in 3-4 years by the time he's in school, he MAY not even require therapy. Who knows! So I've decided to concentrate on what I do know. My child has a learning disorder. Therapy is helping. He learns more every day. He is happy, and he loves me and his father.

I can live with what I do know.

In the last few months he has become a different child. He is so much more responsive, he has started to pick up a few signs, and even though he doesn't use them consistently, he at least TRIES to mimic what I am doing with my hands. This is huge!! This is what I was concerned about from the very beginning. How was I supposed to teach a child that didn't mimic? But here he is...occasionally trying to mimic. He says Uh-oh, A-go (here you go), Go!! (when throwing a ball) and the other day, said "Nana" while looking at a picture of my mom, who goes by Nana. I didn't even coax him, he just did it! He hasn't done it since...but I'm okay with that. He's beginning to grasp language! I'm thrilled! He still doesn't say Mama or Dada, but he does sign Dad and looks at his father. Progress is progress.

He's starting to care more about his world, which again, is HUGE. He cares if he eats, not only that, he cares WHAT he eats. He points and reaches for things, and his jabbering increases every day. I may have no idea what he is saying, but he is trying to say something. And he loves it when I copy his nonsense words.

Jasmine has become his best friend in the whole wide world. (sorry Sanders, your time will come) He signs Dog all day long, and thinks that everything she does is the funniest thing ever! He still has a problem trying to feed Jasmine all of his food, but we are working on it.

It's been such a blessing to see him grow and communicate with us, but to watch his desire to communicate has been the most rewarding. I am so happy that my son cares if I know what he's thinking.

He's loves to be outside and to "help" his daddy with yard work. He loves cuddles and kisses and loves to be chased around the house. And there you have it. The official update. Sorry about the wait, but emotional, tired pregnant women get cut a little slack. :)

Rule #75: Two is better than one.

2010-03-17T00:14:00.006-06:00

Evan has learned a new sign to spread some big news for us. Watch the video and see.

Meghan is expecting, the new baby is due Oct 23rd. Yes, she isn't very far along, but everyone kept finding out this time from the get go. We're very excited and feel very blessed.

Rule #74: Stairs have many uses.

2010-03-17T00:02:00.005-06:00

Evan has this bad habit of feeding Jasmine. He especially loves to feed her from his snack cup as seen here.

So Meghan gave him some dog treats to feed Jasmine, which he promptly ate instead of giving them to Jasmine, you win this round Evan...

Random video of Evan throwing walnuts down the stairs.

Rule #73: You'd be a fool to not have kids.

2010-03-13T00:41:00.004-07:00

Evan is only 19 months old and already his potential for manual labor is apparent.

Random video of Evan going down the slide, be warned, he's not quick about it.

Rule #72: Fry sauce makes the fry.

2010-03-13T00:14:00.003-07:00

Evan appears to like fry sauce as much as his dad.

Random video of Evan throwing a ball.

Rule #71: Everyone needs a kid-free vacation

2010-02-28T23:28:00.015-07:00

Alex and I had the incredible opportunity to go to Maui the first week in February. (Thank you Doug and Susan). I had never been to Hawaii before and it's pretty much the tropical paradise that people say it is.
We left Evan home to be passed around between my family, and a few friends. Thanks to everyone who made our kid free vacation possible! Evan did really well while we were gone. I usually got report that he was happy and playing and sleeping like a champ. It made it so easy to enjoy myself. Evan did have a rough time with his cousin Sanders. (who is younger than Evan, I might point out) I'm really not sure what that was all about, but Emilie handled my clinging, crying child fantastically. Sigh, what a silly kid.

With my son well cared for, we were able to do some of the most amazing things I've ever done. seriously. Everyday we did something, and I could lay down at night and think, that was the most amazing thing I've ever seen. And every night it was true!

I went snorkeling for the first time, just right outside of our hotel. It's a little claustrophobic of a feeling at first, but I really did enjoy myself. Alex, on the other hand, did not. He doesn't enjoy the water, but I was proud of him for at least trying it. We swam with the fishes, saw a few giant sea turtles, a group of squid! All while hearing the whale song underwater! It was amazing! (see, there it is again, I'll probably say amazing twenty times in this post!)

Picture taken by Doug underwater. We really were that close!

We went on two different whale watching trips. Both were amazing, and there were SO many whales, we were surrounded most of the time. Seeing little babies with their mom's was so adorable. But the highlight of the whale watching for me was the second trip. The captain let me put on his mask ans snorkel and hung me over the side on the boat so I could stick my head underwater and watch the whales swimming beneath us! I have never seen anything like that in my life! I probably never will again. It was AMAZING!! And those animals are HUGE! Intellectually I knew they were large, but I had no. idea. Simply amazing.

Whale watching

We went boogie boarding several times. It turns out that is one water activity Alex does enjoy. Found perfect beaches and perfect waves. Such a great time!

We took the road to Hana one day, stopped to hike to waterfalls along the way. It really is a tropical paradise. Everything looked like it came out of a movie set! And all along the way were trees with beautiful red flowers, turns out they are African Tulip Trees. I loved them!

We also went to the aquarium on one of the rainy days. We got to see them feed the manta rays and the sharks. It was neat.

We ate excellent seafood, well, Susan and I did. Most of the boys did not. Although I am proud of Jeff for venturing out and trying something different, and he even liked it!

On the last day we drove up to the top of the volcano, standing above the clouds! I've never done that before either! It was a pretty impressive sight.

The flight home was long, but we were lucky enough to get on the direct flight again (thank you Doug) so really, there's no complaining here. I was ready to be a mom again. I was so ready to go get my baby! I had an amazing time, made memories I'll never forget, but it was so nice to go home! I'm glad that we didn't bring him along, not until he's much older. (At least not on that kind of vacation.) As much as I missed him, I'm proud of how well I did without him. It's a good feeling to know that you can exist without your children, and it does make returning to them so sweet!

And here are a few more randoms pictures, because I know you just haven't had enough! :)

The Dragon's Teeth (made from flowing lava that crashed into oncoming waves!)

Meghan in front of the Banya tree, a local landmark (not the tree right next to me, but the huge one way in the back. It's hard to tell from here. All those trunks....they're all the same tree!)

Rule #70: Babies and planes (and benadryl) don't play well together.

2010-01-26T21:46:00.008-07:00

*Pictures uploaded in Jan, Actual post date- Feb 17th

I know, I know. I have been completely absent from the blogging world for almost two months! No good excuse, a few vacations (which you will be hearing about...I promise) and then just general laziness I think. I hope you will forgive me. Be sure there will be plenty of posts in the next few days to make up for it.

Way back in January Evan took his very first flight. We flew to Colorado to visit with the Lawsons thanks to a killer deal by Southwest. Evan did really well, but his limit was about on hour. Thankfully the flight is only about an hour! I'm not sure if he even noticed that we went up in the air at all. He didn't make any reaction, didn't seem to mind the pressure changes, and mostly enjoyed his surroundings.

The weekend with my family was wonderful! It was such a nice relaxing vacation. My mom, sister, dad and step mom came on the same flight with us! It was really fun, and so nice to have the extra bodies to help entertain Evan.

Nana and Evan at the Denver airport. He loved the moving walkway!

We crafted and made necklaces and watches, and Evan got to "play" with his cousins. He liked to watch them play, but he certainly didn't join in their fun. I wish I had taken pictures at Annie's house, I even brought my camera. Oh well. You live and learn. And my favorite part was staying up late chatting with the girls. Some of the best conversations happen when everyone else is asleep.

Other than an amazing deal, our main purpose for going was Davis' baby blessing. Despite a close call timing wise, it was a beautiful blessing and I'm glad that I was able to be there. Davis is a super cute baby, and it's so nice to be able to see Annie's children when they are still relatively new!

My dad and Emma stayed at a hotel, the rest of the group crowded Annie's kids out of their spaces. (We appreciate it.) Evan did pretty well sleeping in a new space, we had one rough night, but mostly he adapted well. He's just a mellow, laid back kid.

The flight home was a different story. Apparently Honey nut Cheerios have almonds in them. Who knew? Evan had a mild reaction, some hives and such. So I had the brilliant idea to give him Benadryl before the flight, hoping to help the hives and maybe he'd sleep too! So wrong! My child is not one to sleep in the arms of anyone. Even in his drug induced haze, he still refused to give in. So, instead of an hour of busyness but tolerable, Evan was SO tired and unhappy because we wouldn't just leave him alone to sleep! I was so happy to land and get him home to bed! But, now I know. I will NEVER give him benadryl (at least for several years) unless I can put him to bed by himself.

*Although, after his first reaction to nuts that sent us to the doctor, we were giving him benadryl three times a day for three days to keep away a rebound reaction. And I don't remember him being extra sleepy or loopy. Hmm.

It's a horrible picture, taken from Alex's phone, but this is my drugged-up baby on the flight home. Wouldn't even sit still for two seconds!

I'm glad that I have such a flexible job that allows me to get away with my family for weekend visits, without using up vacation time or it being a big deal. Thanks again Annie for hosting us! We had a great time!

Rule # 69: Peanuts don't grow on trees.

2009-12-28T19:38:00.005-07:00

We took Evan to see an allergist today. They pricked his back in 14 spots with different allergens. I know it looks bad, but he didn't cry at all, during or after. We had been suspecting cashews, but it turns out he is allergic to all tree nuts, but not peanuts fortunately.
However, of the tree nuts he had the strongest reaction to cashews. We also got an epipen from the pharmicist, which you have to jab harder than you'd think into the thigh.

Rule #68: Dad is funny.

2009-12-17T00:41:00.001-07:00

Rule #67: Don't try new things.

2009-12-16T22:15:00.002-07:00

Two Saturday's ago we were having dinner and Dave and April's, after dinner Evan was very fussy and scratching his head alot. Finally we noticed hives on his neck. Turns out they were all over his poor little body. He was having an allergic reaction to dinner, we suspect a pea salad that had cashews, green onions and ranch dressing. These are the hives he had, you can see all the red on his back is the hives.

We're taking him to an allergist on the 28th to be tested and see what it was. We gave him benadryl and the kids care gave us a steroid also. There was no effect on his lungs thankfully. He's fine on all accounts now.

Rule #66: Better late than never

2009-12-08T22:00:00.002-07:00

My sweet cousin Bianca took family photos way back in September. Who knows why it has taken me this long to post some highlights, but...better late than never right?

It's so hard to decide what pictures to post! I love them all, here are a few of my favorites.

I really like this one, even though it's kind of far away....

I look at this picture now and I'm surprised to see my boy just beginning to walk...it's crazy how times distorts your memory....

My boys!

Happy family including Jasmine!

Just look at that face! Gotta love my babes!

Rule #65: You can talk with your hands too.

2009-12-01T05:40:00.003-07:00

My son "talked" to me for the very first time in his short 16 month life yesterday! By talked, I really mean signed...but it's all communication right!?

We have been teaching him signs since he was 6 months old. Ten months later.....he signs please!

It took some coaxing for him to sign it, but he did...several times! It wasn't just a fluke!

I'm so thrilled that my baby has decided to "tell" me something, anything!

Just wanted to shout it out loud......

Rule #64: Dogs are a boys best friend

2009-11-23T19:24:00.004-07:00

I was folding laundry in Evan's room when I heard laughter coming from the kitchen. I went to investigate, and this is what I found!

Evan was trying to put his favorite blanket on Jasmine...maybe playing peek-a-boo? Who knows...but he thought it was hysterical!

So when I finally did put the blanket on Jasmine, he nearly lost it. I wish I had the camera on the first time...it was a better reaction. But this is still pretty good.

Isn't she such a good dog? I love to see these two play together, it gets better everyday!

*Sorry about my loud laughter, and the shaking towards the end...it was just too funny!

Rule #63: Knowledge is Power

2009-11-16T13:05:00.007-07:00

We're back from our appointment with Early Intervention.

I'm pleased with how things went....and this is going to sound strange, but I'm pleased that my son qualifies for some help therapy. Basically because I don't know what else to do with/for my son as far as communication goes.

I'm thrilled that they didn't give a "diagnosis", just said he's behind in a few areas that we can work on together. Deep down I never felt he "had" something, nothing was SERIOUSLY wrong with him, I just knew he should be doing more than he was. So I'm glad they couldn't diagnose him. Alex, on the other hand, thinks that if it's just a delay, then there's no real need for therapy. He'll catch up.

He's not fighting me on this, he is willing to do therapy, but since nothing is "wrong" with Evan, he doesn't feel it's entirely necessary. I understand how Alex is feeling, but most of Evan's delays are pre-language....that pretty much impedes every other advancement in skills for the near future. So, while he may eventually have caught up on his own, I'm very excited to have some guidance to nudge him along sooner.

It's a state funded program, so thanks to all of you for your unknowing support via your taxes. :) We still have a VERY small monthly fee to pay for their services. Another reason Alex can't argue. They come to our house, and it's like $30 a month. It's a pretty sweet deal if you ask me. (I guess the program used to be free, but about ten years ago started charging a small fee based on income. They've seen more responsibility from parents when they have to pay. Even just a few dollars. Less no-shows and more willingness to learn.)

I'm not sure how often he will be seen or when his first appointment will be. They will call me and set that up. But it probably wont happen until after Thanksgiving.

For those of you who want to know the details...here you go. For those just mildly interested, you can stop reading now. You got the gist of it. :)

There were two therapist, a developmental, speech, and a nurse there. They played with Evan, and ask Alex and I a lot of questions. It lasted about an hour. Evan was very pleasant as always. Gave of his smiles freely and was his usual self. (which was good, I was concerned he might do more or less because of the new faces)

They "graded" Evan on different areas based on what he could do, or what we said he could do. This is the copy that they gave us.

Cognitive: 9 months + splinter skills to 12 months. (Splinter skills are when he has stopped doing certain skills in a group, but then can also do more advanced skills in the same group. More or less, he skips some skills)
Language: <9 months
Gross Motor: 15 months
Fine motor: 12 months
Social/Emotional: 7 months + splinter skills to 15 months
Self Help: 12 months

They said they were very pleased with how interactive he is, and how much he focuses on faces. Almost to the point where he can't concentrate on anything else. They said he needs to learn how to "multi task" He's so focused on someones face, that he can't/doesn't pay attention to what they are trying to show him. They also said his attachment to Alex and I was at 18 months. Which makes me feel good, knowing that he knows he is loved and loves us back. (not that I was ever questioning it)

I'm not sure how long he will need therapy, only time will tell. But I am excited to get it started. Another waiting game. :) But this is one time I don't mind waiting. I know what is going on with my child and I know that someone is going to help me help him. That's all I ever wanted.

Thanks to all of you for your love and support! I'll keep you all updated!

Rule #62: There's a light at the end of the tunnel

2009-11-15T21:49:00.006-07:00

Well, my wait is almost over. Tomorrow is the day we meet with Early Intervention.

I've been excited for Monday to come.

Now....

I'm anxious.

The heart squeezing kind of anxious.

It a very good probability that they will tell me my child is stubborn and will communicate with me when he is good and ready.

Will I feel foolish for all of the worry?

But what if they don't?

I'll be fine because then I'll know.

But tonight, I still don't know...and all of the anxiety that I've felt for that last several months when I wasn't sure if I should be concerned or not is all coming to it's breaking point. Because it's almost over.

*sigh*

It's almost over....

Rule #61: Halloween is for suckers.

2009-11-12T00:28:00.003-07:00

Evan went to see his grandparents for halloween. Everyone was a sucker for his little monkey face.
Evan had his first sucker coutesy of Nana, which he enjoyed getting himself all sticky with.

Don't forget his little monkey tail.

Rule #60: Good news is worth waiting for

2009-11-05T20:55:00.004-07:00

Evan had his hearing checked this Monday. To no ones surprise he has perfect hearing. So check hearing loss of the list of reasons why my baby isn't communicating. The reasons left are as follows, in no particular order:

~ Stubbornness. He just plain doesn't wanna
~Genetics. Alex and Uncle Jeff didn't speak till they were 18 months and 2, respectively. Although this does not explain the lack of pointing and other ways of communicating.
~His chill attitude. He feels it's unnecessary because we somehow know what he wants, and we'll get there eventually, without any cues on his part.
~Some form of communication deficit.

The only one that can be "helped" is the last one. If it's all because of personality, then all we can do is what we are already doing. And then just keep on waiting.

But I'm waiting anyway. We won't be seen by Early Intervention until the 16th. But at least we have a date set. I'm fine to give him all the time in the world to want to communicate with me, but I need to know I'm not ignoring something important. Hopefully the 16th will give us news one way or the other.

Nothing left to do but wait.

I hate waiting.

Rule #59: Pumpkins rot...I mean rock!

2009-10-29T21:18:00.009-06:00

We carved pumpkins on the last pleasant day of fall this week. It was gorgeous! Mom came over and helped carve and entertain the babe. We didn't carve pumpkins last year, we had just moved and had a new baby, I was preparing to go back to work the week before. It just never got done.

But this year because of the pumpkin patch we had three beautiful pumpkins just begging to be carved! Here are the results.

Alex's pumpkin....it's a little green, so even in the daytime it still looks really cute. I think this one is my favorite.

This was mine, it looks like I need to tweak it a bit, it looks better from a distance.

This is my mom's, the fire-y face. Thanks for coming mom!

Happy Halloween!!!

Rule #58: Doctor's are always late.

2009-10-28T23:56:00.007-06:00

Evan met his new pediatrician today. After I posted the conversation with Dr Black it was decided by basically EVERYONE I know, that he needed a new pediatrician. Most of my friends at work don't live near me, so I couldn't ask for theirs, so I waited. For a long time. Finally his 15 month appointment was coming, so I decided to go with a woman in my sisters neighborhood.

I waited to be seen for over a half an hour...but I was assured by the receptionist it shouldn't have been that long, and that future visits would not be like that. Then the usual waiting for the doctor came. All told, I was there for an hour and a half! But I'm not complaining, it was a good decision to switch!

What a difference I tell ya! There was virtually no chit chat what-so-ever. She came into the room, sat down and asked if I had any concerns. (Why yes I do, thank you very much for treating this like a professional meeting) She was quite good with Evan, but by no means does she want to be friends with me. And I'm okay with that. She listened to what I had to say, offered opinions, and assessed my boy, all without talking about nudist in France! All in all I think it's safe to say that we will be keeping her.

Here are Evan's stats:

Weight: 21 lbs 3 oz (10%) He moved up!
Height: 32 inches (80%) Getting to be so tall!
OFC: 18 inches (15%)

In reference to the concerns I have for my son, Dr Burnett decided to have his hearing checked and referred me to Early Intervention. For those not in the Know, Early Intervention is a group of therapists; developmental, occupational and speech, that work with children who have deficits. Don't go thinking anything has been decided about my son, but he is showing signs of a communication delay of some sort. So, sometime in the future strangers will come to my house, play with my son and tell me what they think. Whether he is just on a different timetable than most kids, whether he's capable of communicating but it too stubborn to do it, or if he would benefit from therapy and programs to overcome a deficit.

I'm very excited about this.

It's strange to think I am excited to have strangers come tell me if something is wrong with my child, but I'm excited to have some knowledge one way or the other. I can handle anything, whether it be stubbornness or something more. But I cannot handle not knowing. I can't. So I am excited for some information.

I feel validated. I was worried she would think I'm some crazy paranoid nurse, who's looking for problems. But she didn't. I don't even know if she knows I'm a nurse. (I guess that depends on what Emilie has told her?) I feel justified in my concerns, and that's very relieving.
His hearing test still needs to be done. I think Evan can hear just fine, but it is possible that he has some mild hearing loss, or fluid or something, and that can Definitely affect speech. But it's not just that he won't "talk" to me. He doesn't really try to communicate. No pointing, no mimicking. Hence my mild concern.

I'm thrilled to now have a pediatrician that doesn't want to "wait and see". So thank you to everyone for voicing your opinions about Dr Black and convincing me to go and seek elsewhere!

As for my toddler, he is a walking machine! It's hard for me to remember a time when he wasn't walking. He's just as cuddly as ever, and I love when he toddles up to me to sit on my lap, or bury his face in my lap....it's all affection right? He continues to love reading, but prefers to read to himself I think. He adores Jasmine and thinks everything she does is the funniest thing ever. Yawning, eating, walking past him...it doesn't matter. It's all hysterical! His laugh is contagious and I can't get enough of it!

I love this little man!

Rule #57: Babies are big business

2009-10-14T22:45:00.009-06:00

We went out to the zoo on Monday to see all of the new babies. I was a little concerned that since it was Columbus day it would be crowded. Apparently Columbus day isn't a big deal anymore. Kids don't even have school off. So it turned out to be a perfect day, really nice weather, and minimal crowds.

The baby Elephant was a highlight of the trip. It was so active and playful. The mom just sat there and ate the entire time, but the baby was playing with the ball and log, rubbing up against the fence, trying so hard to get the right spot...cute stuff.

The baby giraffe, well...it was a little disappointing. It didn't move at all!! It just started at the wall the whole time! Boring! Don't get me wrong, it was cute and little...but sometimes that's just not enough to keep me interested. Alex emailed the zoo to find out the name of the Titi monkeys. Turns out they are sisters, Beni and Trinidad. The zoo is working on finding a male for them.

Our last trip to the zoo we got a really good view of the tiger cubs. They looked so cuddly, but I bet they really aren't. :)

Evan seemed to really SEE the animals this visit. It could be because they were so active, but it was cute to watch him follow the animals...instead of stare off into space, or watch the people around him so intently that I can't even get him to LOOK in the direction of the animal! (Turns out he's a people watcher like his mom)
There were also baby meerkats! They were adorable! I took a little video of them wrestling, sorry if it's jumpy and a little hard to see. They had rolls of toilet paper to play with, those little guys had TONS of energy! I think they might have even stolen the spotlight from the baby elephant! Tough to do!

All in all it was another great visit to the zoo! Thanks again Mom and Dave, we are certainly getting your moneys worth from the passes!

Rule #56: Walking is better than clapping

2009-10-14T22:17:00.002-06:00

Big News Big News!! Evan is finally walking!!! *confetti* Truthfully, he's been walking for a few weeks now, but it's finally becoming consistent enough that I can say, "my baby's a walker" now. Evan is very excited about his new skill. He will still crawl about 40% of the time, or occasionally hold on to something for emotional sake, but he's definitely a walker!

Since he can walk, you'd assume he can do something most 6 month old babys can do right? So wrong. My son still can't clap. Or chooses not to. I'm not sure which. But at least he continues to progress and develop in other ways right? He is walking after all!

He's started carrying around a blanket with him around the house. He has three special blankets that loved ones made for him, one is rather large, so of course he wouldn't drag that around, but the two from Grandma Emma and Nana are a good size, does he favor them? Of course not, they're special, that would make sense. No, he favors a blanket that my cousin bought him, very cute, and soft...that must be what he's going for? Who knows. Maybe it feels the best to bite, because that's what he does to it all. day. long.
He's also started to play Peek-a-Boo with said blanket. Usually it's with me, but when I was trying to take the video, he turned his back on me...so I guess he just wants to play by himself. (stubborn boy) I love him anyway!