Rule #51: Some trains of thought are hard to follow.

Before I jump into Evan’s birth story, I’d like to share with you a typical conversation with Evan’s pediatrician. Keep in mind, during this entire 8-10 minute monologue, I nodded, said uh huh, and otherwise just sat there while he did Evan’s exam on my lap.

Dr. Black: Is Evan walking?

Me: No, cruising around furniture, but not walking.

DB: How about talking, saying mama or dada?

Me: Nope.

DB: Well, some kids walk and some kids talk…..
But I guess yours isn’t really doing either is he? *chuckle
(Starts to move Evan, so I try to hand him over)

DB: Oh, sorry, I just wanted him to lay down, sometimes I forget when I’m talking that I haven’t told people what I want them to do. My wife tells me all the time I need to work on my communication. Sometimes it’s easier to just do it yourself then try to explain it. If you don’t know what I mean, give it 15 years and then you will.

M: *nod

DB: Like with the bed. I want to just take over bed making every day. My wife has blankets that are too small for the bed. So every morning she goes through quite the ordeal trying to make the bed. I want to tell her every morning to just buy bigger blankets!

And she has to make the hospital corners; you see her mother was a nurse, so she was taught to make hospital corners.

And we fight all the time about which way the pillowcase is supposed to face. She thinks the opening should go out and I tell her that it should go in. I ask her if she’s ever gone to a hotel…the nice seam is always out.

That sounds like we always go to swanky hotels…but you know, even if you do, you lay down in your $400 dollar a night room in Chicago where the mattress is decent and the sweets aren’t that bad, but all you can think about it how your mattress and sheets at home are better than this.

I spent a night in a hotel in Ephraim to visit my brother, and I’m pretty sure the sheets were made of burlap! They must have been 50-thread count. I had rough spots on my knees in the morning from moving in the bed!

M: wow, that sounds uncomfortable (Or any other statement of that sort)

DB: But even that hotel doesn’t compare with European hotels. Their standard is different from ours. Our son went on a mission to Paris so two years ago we went over to pick him up. He picked out all the hotels and told us how great they were. They were upgraded campers. *chuckle....I kid you not, they had a clip on the bathroom door to keep it closed. And you couldn’t get to the bathroom with the bed down, that’s how cramped they were.

M: That is cramped. I’ve heard that about the hotels in Europe.

DB: We mostly just slept there, that’s all we really needed anyway. I think it was originally used to house the Nazi’s years ago, but I could be wrong.

(This part gets a little hazy for me…I’m really not quite sure how we got here….)

DB: We went to a bunker outside of Normandy and I wanted to talk a picture, but then I noticed two French women sunbath topless on the concrete bunker. That’s when I knew I wasn’t in Utah anymore. *chuckle I decided not to take the picture after all……sigh.

*pause

DB: So, Evan is looking good.

And there you have it folks. That is a typical appointment with Dr. Black. After his monologue he asks if I have any questions, and he does answer them…so I don’t feel completely ignored. But, we went from questions about my son, to topless sunbathing in Normandy in minutes!

He then went over Evan’s stats with me, which are:

Height: 30 inches (50%)
Weight 19 lbs 12 oz (5%)
Head circumference: 45 cm (25%)
The nurse had written on the papers that Evan’s 19 lbs was in the 65%. Yeah, that’s right, he jumped from 10th to 65th while only gaining 3 lbs! I knew it wasn’t right, but I also knew I could just look it up at home. Which I did. (Hence the 5% which is more consistent for my son).

*********

One year ago I was pregnant. And while everyone around me was telling me how small I looked, I felt huge! I was ready to have my body back and I was more than ready to meet my son.

I had been dilated and effaced for a few weeks and I was a little disappointed that I was coming up to my due date and still no labor. I went in for a regular OB appointment on Friday and bless her heart she stripped my membranes.

Nothing really happened immediately, a few contractions here and there, but nothing to get excited about.

Our friend Steve was having a summer party complete with outdoor movie that night. We prepared to go and I started feeling a little uncomfortable. We ate some food, played some games and it just got worse and worse. I guess I didn't hide it very well. A fellow pregnant friend told her I was making her a little nervous for labor. I wasn't making any noise, just every now and then I'd stop breathing....squeeze Alex's leg, and then play my card. By 10:30 I had had it! I just wanted to go home and try to sleep it off. I remember saying to Alex "if this isn't real...." leaving the treat hanging. Because if it really wasn't labor, there wasn't a darn thing I could do about it!

We were in the process of buying a house. We still needed to sign some papers on an offer that our agent and left at her house. So we trekked up to the neighborhood of mansions where all real estate agents must live, signed the papers and went home.

I was fairly convinced this wasn't false labor anymore, but I was afraid of going to the hospital too early and having them send me home. So, we got ready for bed to try and get some sleep before the big event.

Alex slept. I, of course, did not. I moaned and squirmed for about an hour, then decided that I had waited long enough. We packed up and headed to the hospital.

We drove down to Murray, got set up in a room and was trilled to hear I was dilated enough to stay! A called was made to my mom around 1am, a now infamous event where my mother drove down to the hospital while under the effects of a sleeping pill and has no recollection of how she got there. Dave has since starting hiding her keys at night. I'm grateful that she was watched over that night.

She made it there safe and sound and I was given my epidural at 2:30. It was WONDERFUL! It went in without any problems and I plan to get one with every child! I was still able to move my legs, they felt tingly as if both my legs had fallen asleep, but I could still move them. (Without feeling the pain of my contractions!!)

With nothing to do but wait, the three of us slept. My mom made some crack about sleeping with my husband, now I understand why. (the sleeping pill) and we slept for four hours. It was fantastic.

Around didn't start pushing until after 8 am then next morning, and then pushed FOREVER!! I didn't realize it had been that long until Evan was born. "I did that for an hour and a half?!?!"

My beautiful baby boy was born at 9:52 am on July 26th. He came into this world just screaming, but mellowed out quickly to become a very pleasant boy.

We stayed an extra day in the hospital for Evan to sun bath under the bili-lights. I was very grateful that I was able to stay also although I had been discharged.

In some ways I have a hard time accepting that my baby is one year old. And in other ways it feels like he's been with us forever. He's a very sweet boy, who lets me love on him whenever I get the mind to. (which is often). He has a very laid back attitude, as evidenced by his late crawling. I live for his smiles and giggles and love his personality that keeps getting stronger and stronger every day.

Happy Birthday Son!