Rule # 134: Ain't no rest for the wicked

Alright, so I don't think anyone in my house is wicked, but no one in my house (save Graham) is getting any rest.

I haven't been blogging lately, for a few reasons. I'll admit it, sometimes I just don't want to. But the main reason this time is because I'm so completely frustrated!!! I didn't want to post about our sleeping troubles until we were well behind them and I could end on a positive note. I've come to realize that it might be a VERY long time before our sleeping troubles are behind us...and I just can't neglect the blog forever!

I've written this post a number of times. I'm just not satisfied. I started going through the nitty gritty of how the troubles started, many nights in detail...but I don't think I want to go there. I DO want to record of this moment in our lives, but I don't think it needs to be that specific.

It all started the first week in December. That's right, THREE months ago! Evan woke up terrified of the "yellow" in the corner of his room. Strange I know, but that is the son I love. A few nights later he woke up scared of "ants" in his room. Both nights, we comforted, reassured, laid next to in his bed, sang songs until he felt safe for us to leave.

The next week he woke up. Not scared, or wet, or hungry or needing anything in particular. He was just up. He talked about how he was scared of the yellow, but I knew that he wasn't. He was just remembering that he was that one time...so he must be again. He was talking about it calmly, with no fear and little emotion. Definitely not scared. He started waking up every. single. night. No longer talking about the yellow or the ants. And he would not go back to sleep. He would be up for hours, bright eyed, ready for the day. It was exhausting. It is exhausting.

Alex and I have tried everything we can think of. We have checked out parenting and sleep books from the library. Those were not a total loss. We did learn some things that we are implementing in our families lives, for the better I'm sure. But it did not help Evan sleep. We've talked to everyone we know. Alex has given Evan a blessing to help him sleep. You name it, I bet we've tried it.

Evan normally doesn't have a problem falling asleep, the trouble seems to be STAYING asleep. I'm just not sure how I can help him there. His preschool teacher has been very concerned for us, researching anything she can to help us get some sleep. She did suggest making a social story for Evan. A social story is something typically used for autistic children. It helps them prepare for social situations and what feelings the might experience, how they can handle certain situations and stresses. For example, going to the shoe store to pick out shoes. Anyway, even though Evan is not autistic, he is very ritualistic. At this point it had been going on for two months. Ms. Jessie wondered if maybe he had forgotten what he was supposed to do if he woke up in the middle of the night.

So, we took pictures of Evan doing his nighttime routine and made a book. Talking about how we get ready for bed, and if he wakes up in the middle of the night, he doesn't need to get mom or dad, or be sad. He just needs to stay in his room and get his blanket, close his eyes and fall back asleep. And when there is light coming through the window, it's daytime and time to get up. Simple stuff. He loves this book! He reads it several times a day. I was hopeful this might help us turn the corner into a better habit.

It worked.

Sort of.

He is still waking up every night. BUT, he no longer demands our presence while he is awake. He will read books to himself, play in his room...or wander the house :( I'm not a big fan of the wandering, but locking the door created more anxiety than it was worth. Eventually he will come up to our room, to be escorted back to his bed and back to sleep. It's great that Alex and I are able to catch a few more zzz's than before, but my child is not. For some reason he's decided that his body no longer needs sleep, and definitely not in big sections of time.

We took him to see his doctor. She looked at his tonsils to see if they were making it difficult to sleep and that's why he was waking, but they looked fine. She talked with us for a long time, trying to determine what was waking him up. Who knows. She suggested we try giving him some melatonin at night, maybe that would help him stay asleep and create a new habit.

We've tried melatonin for a month. Sometimes it works, most of the time it doesn't. In the past three months Evan has slept through the night maybe 12 times. 12 times!! The frequency has increased since we started the melatonin, but not consistently enough to be sure that it's working.

His doctor also suggested we call a sleep specialist. I wanted to try the melatonin for a while before making an appointment. I finally called early this week. They can see us in a month. *sigh* If this is still a problem in a month I think I might cry. (And I'm sure it still will be a problem) Alex and I have started a sleep log, so that we will be able to give the specialist an entire months worth of information. I'm not sure what I expect the specialist will be able to do for us...but at least it feels like I'm doing SOMETHING in this hopeless situation.

So there you have it. My three and a half year old went from being the "perfect" sleeper, to this nonsense. I wish I knew how to help him, and not just for me. It can't be good for a little growing body to get so little sleep! Poor kid.