There seems to be a rise in home births lately, and it's been on my mind a lot. I have a lot of dear friends and family that have chosen this option. I won't lie, it stresses me out every time. Most of them know I am concerned about the risks, and I usually choose to express myself once, consider them informed and then hope and pray that things go well.
I came across a blog the other day that I haven't been able to stop thinking about. She had a home birth, things did not go perfectly, her baby did not die or have brain damage (which is what I usually see at my work) but her health was in danger after the birth. On her blog she talked about not wanting to be the poster girl for NOT having a home birth. That because of bad luck and some bad choices on the midwives part, her home birth did not go well.
That's it right there.
That is why those of us who are concerned about home births are, well, concerned about home births. You can have a low risk pregnancy and because of bad luck or bad choices from well intentioned midwives, things can go badly. Her life was in danger. I'm glad her child's life wasn't also.
What has stuck with me the most was a statement I've been hearing a lot lately. They are trusting that a woman's body is designed to give birth and that they have faith in that design. Well so do I. It is miraculous what God designed a woman's body to do. To create and grow life, and then to deliver it into the world. That's remarkable. A woman is given so much power to fulfill this destiny. What I disagree with is that you can't be that powerful in a hospital. You can trust in God's plan and have faith that your body was MEANT to do this wonderful thing, in a setting with knowledge, and more importantly, with equipment able to help if heaven help us, things go wrong. The building does not take away your God given power to deliver a child.
Hospitals have come along way to allow women to be in control of their labor experience. You can have your midwife or your doula, your water birth, hypnobirth or birthing ball, you can squat on the floor if that's what gets you through. But they are there. For the unfortunate bad luck moments.
I'm tired of medicine being the bad guy. We should all be grateful. The death rate has gone down for a reason. I firmly believe that God led man to discover modern medicine. That being said, I think people also need to allow their bodies to do what they do more often than trying to control their bodies. Ie: elective inductions for convenience. Inductions for health reasons do not apply, but inducing at 38 weeks is just unnecessary. The chance of having a c-section after elective induction is higher than after spontaneous labor.
I hesitate to post this. I don't want to appear judgemental or create a forum for hateful comments that so often follow such an emotionally charged topic. But it's been on my mind. A lot. The topic of home births is everywhere I look. Because I work so closely with the bad luck/bad choice moments, I felt compelled to say my piece.
I strongly support natural labors of all forms in a hospital. (or epidurals if that's your cup of tea...it is mine) :) While I would prefer all women deliver in a hospital if it is available to them, I understand that is unrealistic. So I would caution this: PLEASE research your midwife. Please make sure she is certified. While she might not have the equipment I would desire, she will have more knowledge, to recognize when the labor is no longer safe for home.
I wish that all babies were born healthy, without incident, in the miraculous way they were designed to be brought into this world. I wish that no one had to experience bad luck when it comes to their child. But most of all, for those that choose to deliver at home, I really really hope that you DON'T get unlucky. My heart breaks at the thought of it.
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6 comments:
Well said and from a good, well informed, intelligent source. I totally agree with you.
I applaud you for posting about this, Megs. It's difficult to approach topics that can become so heated. And it's difficult to really allow people (in your heart) to choose things that are so different from what you think is best. I struggle with that sometimes. I do think things like this need to be said. Especially when it comes from a place of love and wanting to help others. People need to examine every aspect they can before making a decision that can have such a lasting effect on the health and emotional well-being of those involved.
I am very glad that hospitals are changing for the better in respect to labor and birth. I also think it's wonderful more women are becoming aware of certain issues (like the risk factors for elective induction that you mentioned) and are taking more responsibility for the way their birth plays out, whatever the setting they choose.
I learned a lot of things from my home birth. I have wished that I could change some things. But I do believe that it was the right decision for us. We had a lot of reasons for choosing what we did, but the biggest was that after a lot of prayer and research, it felt right. Maybe next time it will feel right to have it in the hospital. I don't know. I believe that it's a decision that should not be taken lightly and is best made with heavenly inspiration. Home birth is definitely not for everyone. Of course, I don't think hospital birth is for everyone, either. ;)
My heart hurts for the babies and the families that you encounter at work every day. And it hurts for you, because of what you experience there. But it is a job that very much needs doing, and I am so glad you choose to do it! You have compassion for your patients, and that does so much.
Love you, cousin.
Thank you for taking the time to share this message with the world. As a mom who chose out of hospital birth (at a freestanding birth center) with licensed and certified midwives (4 of them) and still came home without our baby in the end, I caution each and every woman about having your baby outside the hospital setting. Our baby's death was absolutely preventable. We had educated midwives and when it came down to it, it was more about ego and extremist philosophy that led to my son's death. Our midwives acted to protect themselves and advance their own agenda and in the end we paid the ultimate price. I'm not saying all midwives are misguided, but it's nearly impossible to know who you're entrusting with your life and that of your child. At least in a hospital you know you have every fighting chance and a system or recourse when mistakes are made. We have no way to hold them accountable, they just walk away as if it never happened, as if he didn't exist. I've had one baby in the hospital too and it was NOTHING like the fear we have been built up to believe. Why not ere on the side of caution?
Well said. I value your opinions on this. I feel guilty for choosing an induction. I let my stress at work and my desire to finally be done working full-time lead me to schedule Aspen's birth instead of letting it happen.
I appreciate the choices we have when bringing children into the world, and I wish I'd given Aspen the choice to come when she was ready. But yeah, no matter what I'd do it at the hospital!! There is a reason we have them.
Snydersara79, I am so sorry you lost your baby. I can't even imagine the heartbreak. Thank you for sharing you story as a way of educating others.
Liv, I didn't mean to make anyone feel guilty about inductions. I was just trying to acknowledge some common concerns that promoters of home birth have. Letting them know that I believe in middle ground. Although that ground happens to be in a hospital. :)
All I can say is you're not high risk until you are, and when it comes down to it I am sure you will want to feel as if you took every precaution possible... trust me it's far to easy to blame yourself.
Very well written Megs, very well written.
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