Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Rule #102: The past can't compete with the present

The memory is an amazing thing. There are moments in your life that you carry with you, just as if they happened yesterday. And yet, there are things, that while important at the time, you have difficult time recalling much detail at all.

I was talking to a fellow nurse last night at work. Talking about our children mostly. She was discussing how her 5 year old freaked out at the Grizzles game, covering his ears the ENTIRE time, and how they can't go to Bees games, because the mascot freaks him out. He spends the entire baseball game on edge, watching out for the giant bee. :)

That brought up Evan and his unique personality/issues. She asked me questions about it, asked how I knew something was wrong. I started to tell her, but couldn't describe it as well as I used to. I mentioned that he wouldn't mimick, and didn't care about his world around him, poor to no communication. But I couldn't really elaborate.


His delays and lack of communication consumed me! How can I not remember what it was like for my child to not care? Have I really forgotten how it started?

That's amazing.

While looking through older posts trying to compare Graham to four month old Evan, I stumbled upon this post That was almost a year ago. What a difference a year makes! I'm surrounded by the present Evan, that I've forgotten was past Evan was like.

Evan now is practically "normal" in most ways. He's only slightly delayed (a few months) in most areas. He's one smart cookie and talks non-stop. And boy does he CARE about his world, and he has opinions! Not to mislead you, he still has Auditory processing disorder, but he's like a new kid! He is still working with Early Intervention, but that's mostly because he loves Lisa and I can bear to take her away from him. ;) They would have let us stop a few months ago, but it's still helpful for him, and he loves it. We'll reevaluate again near his birthday.

Some of his biggest hangups now, are social. Case in point: Sanders birthday party. For reasons unknown to me, he lost his mind at Emilie's house. It wasn't too many people, or too much noise. It was nothing that makes any sense to me. But after GREAT efforts to calm him down, and a walk around the neighborhood, he came back into the house, and promptly went downstairs. Alone. And stayed there the entire party. He didn't want cake or company. He just needed to regroup from....whatever it was that set him off in the first place.

It's moments like this that do remind me of his unique personality. Sometimes I forget a little because he has improved so much. He will be starting a music group this month, and I am excited for what this socialization could do for him. I have hope that with time/age and continued therapy he will get even better, and then my future self won't be able to remember what my present self is so focused on. Maybe a year from now I'll be writing another post, referencing this current post ;)

Memory is such a fickle thing.