Friday, June 24, 2011

Rule #115: Insecticide is not a sin, especially under duress.

Thursday morning started out like any other, and Evan wanted to play outside in his pool, as he often does.  So we did around 10am.  Then we went inside.  Then around noon I looked out our kitchen window to see an unusual gathering on our back porch.

Hundreds and hundreds of bees were swarming one of our kiddy lawn chairs.

At this point we should've called a bee-keeper...  but we were also being held hostage in our house, unable to enter our backyard.  And in those circumstances my fight or flight must've kicked in because all I was thinking was "How do I kill that many bees without getting stung?."  Instead of "How do I save these poor innocent bees from my imminent wrath?."

This first video is the earliest shot I took, when the bees were apparently still debating about where to place the primary hive cluster.

My first plan was to just throw a large brown garbage can over the whole thing, and then decide upon further course of action.  The plan would've worked perfectly....

...but as you can see the incompetent garbage can was not big enough for the job.

And that was when the bees fate was really decided, because I was actually hoping that the garbage can would simply trap the bees.  Albeit I was planning to either raid into the can or let them all die from being stuck in there... but if it had worked, I likely would've come to my senses and thought about calling a beekeeper.

Plan B (maha!) was to raid under the stuck can, but the pressurized cans don't work upside down.  So plan C was to push the can over with a ten-foot pole exposing them to weapons of mass destruction...

Plan C did work like a charm as you just witnessed, so moving on to the aforementioned weapons (bee-lovers may not want to view this next video, many little bees will be killed).

This plan also would've worked perfectly if the can wasn't almost gone, I quickly ran out of raid, and so I killed probably 80%, but left plenty to buzz around and continue holding us hostage.  So I went and got more cans and finished them off later.  Now I have a lot of dead bees in a garbage can and a greater appreciation of  Exclusion.