Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Rule #152: Seeing is Believing

Can you even believe it? There is a little GIRL growing inside me!!!

A few people had asked me, prior to my ultrasound, what I "felt" I was having. Honestly, I didn't FEEL anything specific.

That said, I would have been surprised if this baby had been a boy. Not because of any feeling, per se, but just because this pregnancy has been so different than my other two. I wasn't sick on conception, and I started feeling better around 17-18 weeks. It seemed likely she was a she. But I didn't KNOW.

Now I do :)
We are very excited to welcome a little princess into this family. I'm excited not to be out numbered by the testosterone. :) My sister in law has said that when you have a little girl, you have a best friend for life. I hope that's true. I'll do my very best to create and keep a special place in this little girls' heart.
Alex is thrilled. He has always wanted two of each gender, and when we found out that Graham was a boy, he was excited, but yet nervous he might never get a little lady in his life. While he believes that we are having a little girl, part of him is remaining cautious. Until she's born without boy parts. :)

I love to see the relationship that my boys have with their father. And I can hardly wait to sit back and watch our little girl love on her daddy. Being a daddy's girl myself, and idolizing my father the way only daughters can, I am so excited for their relationship.

Now on to picking a name. For six years Alex and I have agreed on a name for a future daughter. Now that I finally have the opportunity to use the name, I'm not sure I still want to. I want to shop around a little bit and make sure. (I'm silly like that) As always, we won't be telling anyone the name until little miss is born. Blame it on Alex. :)

Everything looked great in the ultrasound, she's growing well and right on her dates. All of my NICU nightmares are appeased. ;) You may laugh, but sometimes I think it would be nice to be a little more naive when I'm pregnant. All the logic and statistics in the world can't tell me that what COULD happen, probably won't happen.

When I was pregnant with Evan, I had worked in the NICU for almost 4 years. I was really nervous up until I had my ultrasound. Then I was nervous around 23-27 weeks. Once I hit 30 weeks, I finally stopped throwing up, if he came early it would be okay, and I relaxed. It was a magical 10 weeks. Looking back I'm surprised I wasn't nervous about labor.

While I was pregnant with Graham, I was chill. I wasn't worried or nervous. I thought I had gotten that out of my system with the first baby. So with any future children I would be relaxed.

Not so. I think the ectopic pregnancy made me question the early weeks of this pregnancy. And even once I knew I was going to be able to keep this baby, I was still nervous. Not as crazy as with my first pregnancy, but definitely not as relaxed as with Graham.

While I know that the 20 week ultrasound didn't show Evan's autism (obviously) and Graham's arachnoid cyst wasn't there yet either, I still feel better finding out that nothing anatomically is amiss with my baby. It calms my fears. I have no idea what she will be like or what trials she will face, and therefore what trials I will face, but it still calms me.

Here I sit, 24 weeks pregnant. And I can happily tell you, I'm not the slightest bit nervous. Well, that's not true I guess. I'm a little nervous to have a third child. How we will juggle/manage/survive three children :) I'm certain we will do all those things, but I am a tad....anxious. It will be very different, very good and definitely what we want, but different still.

Evan has been very involved with this baby. He talks about her all the time, if she's hungry (ie. if I want to eat something for the baby) He talks about when she will be born, and how he'll almost be five. I love to see him so interested, and how much he cares for me and for his sister already. I hope the interest lasts. When she sucks my life and time away and cries frequently, as babies are known to do. :)

Exciting times here in the Davis Household. July 2nd can't come quickly enough!